Robin Quote #625
Quote from Robin in The Stinson Missile Crisis
Robin: I can't believe I'm talking to a therapist. Well, usually, I'm not the touchy-feely, talk-about-your-emotions type, but with this, I just had to be a big enough person to admit that I need help. Huh. I guess this is what growing up feels like.
Kevin: This is court-mandated therapy. You assaulted a woman.
Robin: Oh ,that silly thing. I guess we can talk about that. It all began a few months ago. There's this guy, Barney. We used to date. I set him up with this girl I work with, Nora. Barney was working hard to prove he was
real boyfriend material. So, all week, I had to sit there watching him, send flowers, chocolates, balloons. Then one day...
[flashback to Robin at work:]
Robin: Hey, I heard Barney didn't send anything today. Patrice said maybe he met somebody else. She's such
a bitch, right?
Barney: [singing] When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
Patrice: He's so dreamy.
Robin: Nobody asked you, Patrice!
Features in the collection: Robin and Patrice.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Robin and Patrice’
Quote from Robin in Lobster Crawl
[title card: "The Damsel in Distress":]
Barney: Hey, Robin, I just got your text. What's the big emergency?
Patrice: Hi, Barney! You seem like you run fast. Do you want me to fan you with my US magazine?
Robin: He's fine.
Barney: Thanks, Patrice.
Robin: Oh, thank goodness you're here. I just got this new printer, and I need somebody big and strong to take it to my office for me. I promise to repay you.
Patrice: We'll do it for you, Robin!
Robin: Don't you have a late-breaking weather story to cover, Brandi?
Brandi: Oh, I did it already. It rained.
Barney: Oh, I got to jump on a big Brobibs conference call. The lawyer from Dude Aprons is really busting my balls. See ya.
Robin: Nobody asked for your help, Patrice! You either, Brandi!
Quote from Robin in The Over-Correction
Robin: She can't see that Barney is using her, and it breaks my heart. You know, I love Patrice. We're like sisters.
Ted: You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.
Robin: Sisters fight, Ted! But the bond is always there.
‘The Stinson Missile Crisis’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Robin: [v.o.] So Barney and I were finishing packing his apartment...
[flashback to Robin and Barney in his apartment:]
Robin: Okay. One last item on the checklist. Disconnect the Cold Call 5000.
Barney: [chuckles]
Robin: What the hell's that?
Barney: I was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties. The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message: "Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be. If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson. Because I have this feeling that I'm supposed to be on you- with you."
Robin: Why not re-record it?
Barney: I did like a hundred takes. It kept happening.
Quote from Barney
Barney: That scam was so successful, it spawned a related enterprise.
[video:]
Barney: If you've been fooled by a well-endowed man who claimed to be a doctor offering free breast-reduction consultations, come see me, Arnie Linson, attorney-at-law, and join my class-action suit. If your giant breasts have been wronged, I can handle them... it.
Quote from Lily
Lily: The wine looks good.
Ted: Hey, hey, hey, hey, pregnant women can't drink alcohol.
Lily: No, my doctor says it's okay to have a sip of wine every now and then.
Ted: Really?
Lily: Dr. Sonya's great. Whenever you ask her if you can have something, she's, like...
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: Wait, Dr. Sonya doesn't let you have sushi, does she?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Just a little bit.
[present:]
Ted: You're allowed to have Cheetos?
[flashback to Marshall and Lily at the doctor's office:]
Dr. Sonya: Cheetos. Ah, just a little bit.