Barney Quote #1432
Jerry: So, Saturday night! Time to cut loose, right? Who wants to split a beer?
Barney: Oh, we're not drinking here. Tonight we're going big. Let's see. What club should we hit first? There's Club Was. There's Wrong.
Marshall: Um, those places shut down a long time ago.
Barney: Oh, no.
Marshall: Oh No shut down too.
Ted: There's Where.
Jerry: Where's Where?
Lily: Where's where Was was, isn't it?
Barney: No, Was wasn't where Where was. Was was where Wrong was. Right?
Jerry: Okay.
Ted: Not Okay. That place is lame.
Robin: Okay is Lame? I thought Lame was a gay bar. Or is that Wrong?
Marshall: That's wrong. That's Not Wrong.
Barney: Guys, focus.
Robin: Oh, I like Focus. Let's go there.
Ted: Where?
Robin: Not Where, Focus.
Lily: I thought Focus was closed.
Barney: No, Was was closed. Once Was shut down, it reopened as Closed.
Marshall: So Closed is open.
Robin: No, Closed is closed.
Jerry: I don't know! Third base! Right?
Robin: Ew, Third Base is all frat guys.
Lily: I'll go anyplace, okay?
Ted: Not Okay. Okay is lame.
Robin: Okay is not Lame. Lame is a gay bar.
Lily: Guys, shut up.
Barney: No, Shut Up shut down.
Barney: I can't believe I don't know the clubs anymore.
Ted: Guys, just pick a club. Okay?
All: Not Okay! Okay is lame! Gay bar!
Marshall: For the record, um, I was in there once by accident. I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "La-may."
Barney: It's Hopeless, isn't it?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Hopeless’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Barney: And, Ted, just be yourself. [laughs] Just kidding. Here's a giant pile of topics you should avoid talking about.
Ted: Wow. Well, this could actually be fun. In fact, I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said... "Man is least himself when he talks"...
Barney: Ted, card.
Ted: Uh, you're right. "No quoting Oscar Wilde."
Quote from Lily
Barney: Uh, Lily, uh, talk about your open marriage.
Lily: Okay. Well, after a long day of style meetings and photo shoots, and being way too mean to my assistant, I sometimes bang an underwear model.
Jerry: My goodness.
Marshall: I sleep around too. Just as much. A little more even.
Lily: Oh, uh, only 'cause you have nothing to do all day.
Marshall: Are we having this fight again? Writing plays is a real job!
Lily: I work 90 hours a week subsidizing your "real job."
Marshall: I won a Tony!
Lily: I brought French cooking to America!
Marshall: What?
Quote from Barney
[flashback to 1983:]
Jerry: Barney, I'm afraid this is good-bye. Your buzz-kill of a ma thinks I'm a "bad influence" on you.
Young Barney: What? That's... What is that word you taught me? "Bull" something?
Jerry: But she's your mother, and I'm... Well, she's your mother and I'm just your Uncle Jerry, so this is the last time I can see you.
Young Barney: But you were supposed to take me to see that Zeppelin cover band next week. The night is gonna be... "Led-engery."
Jerry: Sorry, buddy, but this is it. But don't you forget your training. What's a magician's best friend?
Young Barney: A drunk audience.
Barney: Attaboy.
Jerry: You still got that button from the festival we went to? Now... I'm gonna put this right inside your brain behind your ear, so that I'll know that you won't forget me. See ya, buddy. And hey. Never stop partying.