Barney Quote #1412
Quote from Barney in Legendaddy
Jerry: Look. Barney, I know I screwed up.
Barney: Oh, "screwed up" doesn't even begin to describe... what I've been through.
Jerry: I know! I know! I know! I wanna fix this, and I don't know how! Please, tell me what I can do! I'll do anything!
[Jerry goes back into the house and Barney keeps trying to pull the basketball hoop down. Jerry returns with a tool box and towel.]
Jerry: You're never gonna get it down like that. [hands Barney a screwdriver] Barney. Barney! Just put the pointy end into the grooves. That's it. Now turn it. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. I have no good excuse, Barney. It took me years before I was even able to look myself in the mirror for the way I let you down. It took courage to send me that letter. More courage than I've ever had. I owe you a lifetime of apologies. And l... I just... have no idea where to begin.
Barney: Can you help me with this? [Barney removes the basketball hoop from the garage and hands it down to Jerry]
Jerry: Oh, got it. Look. If you... ever feel like you're ready... I'd love nothing more than to be a part of your life.
Barney: Bye.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Legendaddy’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Okay. Now I feel bad about making fun of him for the tool thing. My dad was the one who taught me all that stuff.
Robin: Well, to be fair, everyone has some glaring gap in knowledge. Something really obvious you somehow never learned.
Ted: Okay. But a screwdriver? Come on. I don't have any gaps that fundamental.
Robin: Really? I seem to recall...
[flashback to Ted's classroom:]
Ted: Daniel Burnham was an architect whose ever-shifting style and aesthetic... made him a true architectural "chama-lee-on." And only the most gifted "chama-lee-on"... could've designed classic beaux-arts masterpieces... right alongside sleek, modern flatirons. His name might as well have been Daniel Chama-lee-on.
Betty: Um, Professor? Uh, do you mean "chameleon"?
Ted: Betty, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "chama-lee-on," so... [all the students shake their heads] Class dismissed. No homework for a while.
[present:]
Ted: Okay. I learned that word by reading it. That's how I've always pronounced it.
Robin: Ted, that wasn't easy. It took a lot of "char-acter" to admit that.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I bought the house we live in now way back before I ever met your mother. It needed a lot of work, but I had a vision for it.
Ted: Vintage rolltop desk here. I haven't decided whether to put the fern on the right or the left side. But, you know, sometimes you just gotta wing it, right? Left side. Oh, and right outside... I want to put up a basketball hoop for the kids. Huh?
Barney: Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing there. Vibrating Jell-O pit right there. Rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here. Don't ask. You're not ready. And that basketball hoop? Outdoor stripper pole. We'll just tell the ladies to be careful in the winter. You think a tongue stuck to a frozen pole is bad.
Quote from Robin
Ted: Okay, Scherbatsky. You want to tussle?
Robin: I'll tussle.
Ted: You want to tussle?
Robin: Let's tussle.
Ted: Marine biologist.
Robin: Please, no.
[flashback to Robin with a guy at MacLaren's:]
Scott: So this really sucks, but I'm gonna be... in the north pole for the next three months.
Robin: Seriously? The north pole? Okay, pal. If you want to break up with me, just tell it to me straight. Don't pretend you're going someplace we all know doesn't exist.
Scott: Um, I'm gonna be studying the mating habits of...
Robin: Of who? Santa's elves? Rudolph? You know what? I'm going on a trip too, Scott. It, uh, starts in Narnia. It works its way up to Candy Land. And then, hey! Congratulate me. Because I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts! Expelliarmus!
Scott: Robin, the north pole is a real place. You know that, right?
Robin: So, you wanna get pizza later or...
Scott: I think we should break up.
[present:]
Robin: I still think about him in the shower.