Marshall Quote #764
Quote from Marshall in The Mermaid Theory
Robin: Pregnancy?
Marshall: Mm-hmm. Once a mermaid gets pregnant, she becomes a manatee again. Never thought I'd say that sentence.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Wait! That's it! That's what Barney and Lily were fighting about! The Mermaid Theory! But their argument didn't happen at the same time as all this other stuff. I'm literally in the wrong year! It happened much, much later when Lily was... pregnant.
[flashback to Barney and pregnant Lily in the apartment:]
Barney: Well, Lily, I guess it's just you and me. You wanna hang?
Lily: Nah.
Barney: [gasps]
Lily: Whenever we're alone, you spend the whole time undressing me with your eyes. You even take off my shoes.
Barney: High heels chafe my shoulders. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. Ever since you got pregnant, you're just a big fat manatee.
Lily: [gasps] Well, you're a big... stupid octopus face!
Future Ted: [v.o.] That was it! I remember now!
[flashback to Barney and pregnant Lily in the street:]
Lily: Wow. Thanks, Barney. You saved me. You saved us.
[flashback to Barney and pregnant Lily at MacLaren's:]
Lily: If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman "fat" right to her face!
Barney: I'm sorry, Lily. Hey, you want to see a magic trick?
[Barney puts the beer bottle on Lily's stomach]
Lily: Oh... You're a jerk.
Barney: Hey. Hey, wait. Come on. I was kid... Wait, wait, wait! There's another addendum to The Mermaid Theory. A pregnant woman who's become a manatee can become a mermaid again through one simple act.
Lily: What's that?
Barney: Breast-feeding. Hot.
Lily: Really?
Barney: Really. When those things swell up to three times their normal size, so do I.
Lily: That's so sweet!
Future Ted: [v.o.] See kids? Told you I'd get it!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Mermaid Theory’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Barney: Lily, I guess that leaves just you and me. Want to hang?
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then Lily said something to Barney that insulted every fiber of his being.
Lily: Nah.
Barney: [gasps]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Wait. No. It had to be more than just, "Nah." Oh, I think she said...
Lily: You're a big... stupid octopus head!
Future Ted: [v.o.] No, that doesn't make sense. Okay, hang on. What did she say? She said, um, uh... To be honest kids, I'm having a little trouble remembering exactly what their fight was about. Hey, it was 20 years ago! I'll remember.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] There was just something about him. We couldn't put our finger on it until...
Marshall: I figured it out! I know what's so creepy about The Captain.
Robin: Okay.
Marshall: Yeah, I snapped this photo of him last time he dropped off Zoey. Observe. The bottom half of his face is smiling. Look, he seems happy. Seems like a nice guy. But the top half of his face, wants to murder you! Cheerful. Wants to murder you. Cheerful. Wants to murder you. Now, hold on. Let me ask him a question. Captain, what do you think of ice cream? Oh, he loves it!
Barney: Captain, what do you think of rainy days?
Marshall: Whoa, he hates them.
Robin: Captain, quick question: How do you feel about the Jonas Brothers?
All: Ooh.
Marshall: What-What is that?
Robin: I don't get it. I don't get it.
Marshall: He hates that he loves them.
All: Ah!
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, Lily, you were right. Something weird happened with Zoey last night.
[flashback to Ted and Zoey at the museum:]
Zoey: Oh, that's the Captain. Yes, I call my husband The Captain, but that is the only concession I make to his seafaring ways. Hang on. [answers phone] Ahoy.