Lily Quote #489
Quote from Lily in Natural History
[As Lily walks through the museum, she imagines an exhibit featuring College Marshall in his dorm room:]
College Marshall: Lily? Honey, what's wrong? You okay? Do you want a hit of this sandwich?
Lily: I want you.
College Marshall: Awesome. Let me just put a sock on the doorknob.
Lily: No. I mean, I want you as opposed to who you've become. You've changed so much.
College Marshall What? How have I changed? Did I cheat on you?
Lily: No.
College Marshall: Did I stop writing poems for you?
Lily: Yes, but I'm okay with that.
College Marshall: Am I not as good at making the sweet, sweet love to you?
Lily: Actually, you're way better now. You last, like, two, three times as long.
College Marshall: You said that any longer would be too much.
Lily: It's okay. College Lily thinks those are orgasms. No, it's... It's none of that. It's just this new Marshall, Corporate Marshall, he wears suits all the time. He doesn't care about saving the world. He's not you. I want you back.
College Marshall: Well, you can't have me. Look at the sign. I'm extinct. I've gone the way of Jane's Addiction.
Lily: Actually, Jane's Addiction got back together.
College Marshall: They did?
Lily: Yeah, they've done a few tours, they put out a new album.
College Marshall: Are you serious?! That is awesome! Are they just as good?
Lily: Sure.
College Marshall: Look, I know that Corporate Marshall wears a tie and everything, but it sounds like he hasn't changed where it counts.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Natural History’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Guys, guys, guys? Architecture fun fact: If you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. It's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. Watch. [whispering] Diarrhea. Right? Right?
Quote from Future Ted
Ted: I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.
Barney: Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?
Marshall: Impeccable, old bean. To industry!
Barney: Ah, bully!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that night we weren't the skinniest of felines.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.
All: Ooh.
Barney: Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.
Marshall: Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?
Barney: I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything." To a kid. That's like someone telling us, "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."
Robin: Not bad.
Barney: So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.
Robin: Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.
Barney: It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum.