Future Ted Quote #142

Quote from Future Ted in Robots Vs. Wrestlers

Ted: Hey, guys.
Barney: Well, well. Look who thinks he can just waltz in here, and be part of the gang again. Well, you can forget it.
Ted: Listen, Barney, I...
Barney: Please be part of the gang again! I don't wanna lose anyone else! We're all really sorry. We'll even let you recite all the douchey poems you want, and we'll never, never say a bad thing about it. I promise.
Ted: Really? Because there actually is a poem I'd like to recite. Friendship, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. "A ruddy drop of manly blood The surging sea outweighs The world uncertain comes and goes"
[Robin enters MacLaren's and makes a fart noise]
Robin: I'm sorry. Someone had to do that. Who wants another drink? I'm buying.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I'd love to tell you that over the years, we didn't all drift apart a little at one time or another. You don't mean for it to happen, but it does. But no matter what, to this day, come hell or high water, we still all get together every year for Robots vs. Wrestlers.


 ‘Robots Vs. Wrestlers’ Quotes

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I think I told you how earlier that year we had seen some doppelgangers of ourselves around town. There was Lesbian Robin. There was Mustache Marshall. And, of course, Stripper Lily. Well, that night, one more doppelganger surfaced. Mexican Wrestler Ted.

Quote from Marshall

Peter Bogdanovich: Which is exactly what Truffaut was talking about in his 1954 article in Cahiers du cinema. Film is an auteur's medium, full stop.
Marshall: [laughs] Movies. Right? Actors. Willem Dafoe. Funny thing about Willem Dafoe. Uh, his name kind of sounds like a frog talking to a parrot. [in deep voice] Willem. [in high-pitched voice] Dafoe! [deep] Willem. [high] Dafoe! No?

Quote from Barney

Barney: Fine, you guys can have a baby, but only under these conditions. One, you promise to always love me more than the baby. Two, once a month I get to use the baby to pick up chicks. Three, that may involve the baby falling from a two-story window and me heroically catching it. Four, no breast-feeding in front of me. Five, forget about four. You can whip them out whenever you want.