Ted Quote #778
Quote from Ted in Zoo or False
Barney: That wasn't very satisfying. When I tell everyone at work this story, I'm saying he was mugged by a monkey. And I'm gonna keep the banana-on-a-string thing. That was working.
Ted: Barney, enough with the lies. You can't just tack on a new ending because you're not satisfied with how a story wraps up.
Barney: Oh, really? Well, mark my words, Mosby. Someday, you'll be telling this story, and you'll see it my way.
Ted: Doubtful.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then, kids, you'll never believe what happened.
Mike: The monkey got loose.
Man: He's got one of my dolls!
Park ranger: Bobo, come here, Bobo. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's climbing the building. Bobo, come here.
Ted: Is this really happening?
Barney: Sure is, Ted.
Future Ted: True story.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Zoo or False’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Okay, this may come as a shock to you, Barney, but people don't like to be lied to.
Barney: Wrong. They don't like finding out they've been lied to. "Because a lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth." Barney Stinson.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you may be wondering how many of these stories I'm telling you are true. It's a fair question. After all, there's a fine line between a good story and a bald-faced lie. I've never met anyone who could work that line better than your Uncle Barney. Heck, he could jump rope with it.
[at MacLaren's:]
Barney: I love to travel myself.
Sarah: Really? Where's the best place you've visited?
Barney: Hawaii's nice. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that's a good spot. But the best place, I'd have to say the moon. Hi, Neil Armstrong.
[later, in the apartment:]
Ted: No! You did not convince a girl you were the first man to walk on the moon! That happened seven years before you were born.
Barney: Ted, baby doll, minor hurdle.
[flashback:]
Barney: Oh, yeah, well, our spaceship passed through a wormhole or some gamma rays or something. I started aging backwards, blah, blah, blah. So, you work in a yogurt shop, that must be wild.
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Although, I did actually work in a yogurt store in high school. And it was indeed wild.
Barney: Anywho, 20 minutes later, the eagle landed. We knocked space boots. Houston, we have a moaner. Other space related double entendres.