Ted Quote #657
Quote from Ted in Double Date
Jen: Now what?
Ted: I just remembered why I didn't call you.
Jen: Why?
Ted: I can't believe I'm gonna screw this up again, but, um, I like finding typos in menus.
Jen: What?
Ted: And I know my shellfish pun is stupid but the truth, I'm not suddenly gonna stop making stupid jokes.
Jen: Now that you mention it, I'm never going to stop talking about my cats. They're funny and adorable and totally worth having to take six Benadryl a day.
Ted: Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kind of likes them? Even if it means finding ourselves on another blind date with each other, seven years from now?
Jen: Oh, dear God, I hope that doesn't happen.
Ted: Well, good luck out there, Jen.
Jen: You too, Ted. You'll find your shellfish lady.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And kids, when I told your mother that shellfish joke, she did laugh. And I swear, it was only, like, 30% pity.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Double Date’ Quotes
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Lily, sometimes I think about other women. Okay, it happens. But even when I do, I feel so guilty that I have to imagine you... passing away first. Because even in a fantasy world, I could never cheat on you. You're... You're just my life, baby. And I love you.
Lily: You kill me off?! I mean, fantasize about other girls all you want, but could you maybe not murder me?
Marshall: Murder? No! Baby, no. You develop a chronic illness. I spare no expense for your care. I even stand up a foundation in your name. We're, like, this close to a cure.
Quote from Future Ted
Barney: You will not believe who we saw tonight.
Marshall: Dude, um...
Barney: We saw the third doppelganger!
Lily: [gasps]
Future Ted: [v.o.] I should explain. Over the years we had spotted two strangers who looked exactly like members of our group.
[flashback to the group walking down the street:]
Barney: Hey, hey, hey, hey! [points to a short-haired woman wearing a flannel shirt and a baseball mitt]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Lesbian Robin.
[flashback to the group, minus Robin, outside a theater where they see an advertisement on a bus for a Mexican television show, "Senor Justicia":]
Future Ted: [v.o.] And Mustache Marshall. By the following summer, we would find the remaining two doppelgangers. But I'll get to that.
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Hey, do you think they'll have Wookiee to English dictionaries there? I mean, even just an everyday phrase book would be helpful.
Barney: We're not going to the "Origins of Chewbacca" exhibit, Marshall. It's in Houston this year. Everyone knows that. I just wanted to get rid of the girls.
Marshall: Where are you taking me, Barney?