Marshall Quote #484
Quote from Marshall in Old King Clancy
Ted: No way! You never lie to your friends. I would never not be honest with you.
Barney: Really? What about that open mic night at the comedy club?
[flashback to Marshall on stage at a comedy club:]
Barney: Are you like me, folks? Have you ever thought about how many different kinds of fish there are? And the names of those fish? Let's, uh, let's take a little ride. "Trout." Am I right? "Sturgeon." I don't think so, pal. "Salmon." I'm going to say that again, salmon. Who thought that was a good idea, right? "Bass." This guy over here knows what I'm talking about. "Halibut." Thank you, good night. [goes to Ted] How was I?
Ted: Oh, you were great. Really funny.
Barney: You killed... [Marshall walks off] everyone's Thursday night.
[present:]
Marshall: Time out. You didn't like the fish list?
Ted: It was horrible! You just read a list of fish.
Marshall: [whooshes]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Old King Clancy’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Lily: I'm going to read it. Here we go. "The Frozen Snowshoe, Old King Clancy, Harvey's trays."
Robin: Right?
Lily: I don't know what any of those words mean.
Barney: Is one of those supposed to be a celebrity?
Marshall: Yeah, who the hell is Old King Clancy?
Robin: No, that's not the person, that's the sex act. It's the same as a Sacramento Turtleneck, except with maple syrup.
Marshall: So the celebrity was Harvey Strays?
Robin: No, that's what he collected. Harvey's trays. Yeah, those classic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey's? The restaurant? Oh, come on, you're road tripping down the Trans-Canada Highway, you get a hunger on between Milverton and Wawa, where you gonna strap on a feed bag, huh? Harvey's. Over 12,000 served!
Lily: So the celebrity was...
Robin: The Frozen Snowshoe. Oh, my God! You guys have never heard of The Frozen Snowshoe? He's only the most famous professional wrestler in Canada. I met him after he defeated Reckless Rick Rogers in the Kamloops Memorial Arena back in '02. Classic match.
Lily: So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe invited you back to his place to look at Harvey's trays, and asked you to do an Old King Clancy?
Robin: Exactly. And I'm serious, you cannot tell anyone.
Quote from Robin
Lily: Okay, I'm going to make my first guess.
Robin: Okay, but I'll only tell you if you correctly guess the person, the act and the collection.
Lily: Okay, I'm going to go. Bryan Adams. He collects baseball cards, and he wanted to do a "Greasy Kayak."
Robin: No.
Barney: Wayne Gretzky, vintage Hot Wheels, a "Squatting Eskimo."
Robin: No.
Marshall: Kiefer Sutherland, souvenir shot glasses, and a "Sticky Flapjack."
Robin: No. That I would have done.
Quote from Robin
Lily: What the hell is a "Two-Hand Zamboni"?
Robin: Let's just say, the only thing the woman is wearing is skates on her hands.
Lily: A "Manitoba Milk Bag"?
Robin: Okay, it's like a "Chicago Mustache," but the person on the bottom is wearing a snowsuit.
Lily: A "Newfoundland Lobster Trap"?
Robin: Don't know. Don't want to know. Those Newfies are out of control.