Ted Quote #508
Quote from Ted in Not a Father's Day
Robin: Well, of course you think it comes naturally. You're basically a dad already.
Lily: You're a total dad.
Ted: What are you talking about?
Robin: Ted, think about it. You tell super corny dad jokes.
[flashback:]
Ted: Shredded tweet! Oh, man! Shredded tweet.
[flashback:]
Robin: [v.o.] You lecture us. Like when we broke your stupid ship in a bottle.
Ted: I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed.
Barney: She did it!
Robin: Shut up!
[flashback:]
Robin: [v.o.] And you do that thing all dads do with waitresses.
Lori: Hi, I'm Lori. I'll be your waitress this evening.
Ted: Hi, Lori, I'm Ted. I'll be your customer this evening. Hey, Lori, before you go, tell me, what do you get when you cross a canary with a lawn mower? No hints. No hints.
[present:]
Lily: She's right. Ted, you maybe single and childless, but you're totally a dorky dad.
Ted: I don't think I like your tone, young lady.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Not a Father's Day’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Barney, they're hot.
Barney: Oh, there is so much to teach you all. You have just become victims of... The Cheerleader Effect. Glad you asked. The Cheerleader Effect is when a group of women seems hot, but only, as a group. Just like with cheerleaders. They seem hot, but take each one of them individually? Sled dogs.
Ted: That's insane.
Barney: Take a good, hard look at each one of those girls. Individually.
Marshall: I don't know. The one on the end is kind of cute.
Lily: Yeah, she really is.
Barney: Also known as the Bridesmaid Paradox, Sorority Girl Syndrome, and for a brief window in the mid-'90s, the Spice Girls Conspiracy. Scary Spice indeed.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Marshall, Not a Father's Day is a hit! Laraby and Finklestein are helping me celebrate. Check it. "World's Greatest Not A Dad" mugs. There's, uh... ha! "Who's Not Your Daddy?" Tee-shirts. Both available at NotAFathers Day.Com. Oh, check out the greeting cards.
Marshall: "For everything you do for yourself, For all the scotch upon your shelf, Your Porsche Carrera rules the freeway, Here's wishing you an all night three-way. Happy Not a Father's Day."
Barney: Check out the illustration. No.
Marshall: Oh, it appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes. Because on Not a Father's Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear. Wordplay five!
Quote from Barney
Ted: What do you mean you're gonna be a dad? How did, how did this happen?
Barney: It was just some girl I hooked up with a few weeks back. She's not sure. She's gonna go to the doctor in the morning.
Lily: Maybe it's a false alarm. Maybe she's not pregnant.
Barney: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does anything less than 110%. If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose, he's swimming for the gold.