Marshall Quote #400
Quote from Marshall in I Heart NJ
Lily: Look, Stella, I understand that coming from New Jersey you don't picture yourself loving New York,
but trust me, Marshall didn't expect to, and now he wouldn't think of living anywhere else.
Marshall: I hate New York!
Lily: What?
Marshall: I'm sorry, but it's true. Okay, today I was walking around PriceCo. Have you ever been there? It's huge.
All the stores in New York are so cramped. Every time I turn, I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the ocean to destroy bodegas.
Lily: But, Marshall, you love New York.
Marshall: Yeah, I do, except that I hate it. I'm too big for New York, okay? I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats or duck under doorways that were built 150 years ago. Hey, guess what? People are bigger now. Build bigger doorways. What the hell is the matter with you?
Barney: Small city, big man, give it up.
Marshall: And it's so loud, all the time. Yes, it's the city that never sleeps. Well, guess what, I like to sleep. I've been tired for eight years. Tired and scared with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit through
all these tiny, little elf doorways. New Jersey's great. It's got huge stores, and lawns and you never have to carry a cup again. Not for the rest of your life. I'm not afraid to say it... I love New Jersey. [off Lily's look] I'm just kidding.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘I Heart NJ’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Lily: Wow, she really quit.
Barney: You think we had anything to do with that?
Lily: Yeah, I think we did. Nice job, Barney. [fist bumps Barney]
Barney: Oh, my God! Thank you! That was killing my arm. My arm hasn't been this sore since I was 13 years old and figured out how to lock a bathroom. Up top. [Lily shakes her head] Oh, no.
Quote from Ted
Lily: Okay, Stella, this is crazy. You can't actually think that New Jersey is better than New York. New York has Broadway. We win right there.
Barney: Oh, no, she did not. Knuckle up for safety.
Stella: We have Atlantic City.
Barney: Can't beat the A.C. Pretty please? No one has to know.
Ted: New York has Greenwich Village.
Stella: New Jersey has The Shore.
Lily: Woody Allen.
Barney: Oscar-winning chronicler of urban neuroses. Bump it!
Stella: Bruce Springsteen.
Ted: Sinatra.
Stella: Yeah, he's from Hoboken, New Jersey.
Ted: Yeah, but what city is he singing about? It's not "Secaucus, Secaucus."
Quote from Ted
Lily: Why am I telling you this? You hate New Jersey more than anyone.
Ted: What? I don't hate New Jersey! Why would you think that?
[flashback:]
Ted: And then he cut in front of me! God, I hate line cutters more than I hate... New Jersey. Well that's not true, there's nothing I hate more than New Jersey.
[flashback to Ted arriving at MacLaren's wearing a t-shirt which reads "New Jersey" under a red banned sign]
Ted: Huh? [Ted turns around to reveal "I Hate New Jersey" is written on the back] Nice?
[flashback:]
Marshall: Hey, you want us to wait for you?
Ted: No, I might be awhile, I got to a drop a massive New Jersey.
[present:]
Ted: Okay, so New Jersey's not my favorite place but once Stella and I get married, and she and Lucy move in with me, I'll never set foot in New Jersey again. Unless I'm going to see a Giants game or, flying down at Newark, or, God forbid, disposing of a body.