Barney Quote #684
Quote from Barney in Everything Must Go
Abby: Hi, sweetie.
Barney: Hey, I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it?
Abby: No, I'm in wedding-planning mode. Stressville, population me. Okay, big decision. What do you think the cake should be: Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss?
Barney: Yeah, that was a bit. We were doing a bit.
Abby: So I'm thinking Labor Day. I was going to say Fourth of July, but I don't want to steal any attention away from America.
Barney: Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. I can't marry you.
Abby: What?
Barney: Ted begged me not to. I think he's in love with you.
Abby: Really?
Barney: Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed. You have to go to him. Here's his home address. But you know what? He works late, so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.
Abby: Oh, my God, thank you. But now I feel wrong keeping this.
Barney: Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. That's made of candy. [eats ring] Later.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Everything Must Go’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, in the spring of 2008 something kind of strange had been happening to your uncle Barney. He'd be doing great with a woman.
Barney: So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth. I shoot the tank, boo, no more shark. Mr. Holland and I swam back to shore. Hey, let me serve you a drink.
Future Ted: He's only been gone a few moments but when he return...
Barney: So where were we?
Ted from 2030: He'd get slapped! It kept happening... Until finally, Lily was approached by a mysterious woman who wants her stay away from Barney. So when it happened once more...
Barney: Again? Really? Wait...
Future Ted: [v.o.] Barney knew who to look for...
[Barney chases after a blonde woman who was leaving MacLaren's:]
Barney: Hey, excuse me. Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?
Woman: No.
Barney: What are you doing on Friday?
Quote from Barney
Abby: Well, it hurt, okay? And then Ted, the love of my life started dating my boss instead of me. Do you know how that feels?
Barney: Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.
Abby: Abby!
Barney: Abby. A few weeks ago, Ted dumped me as his wingman. You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? I was Ted's best friend for seven years.
Abby: Ted said Marshall was his best friend.
Barney: Seven years!
Quote from Lily
Marshall: So, uh, I just met with the contractor. and it turns out that fixing the floors of the new apartment is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.
Lily: But we can barely afford that to begin with.
Marshall: I hate to say this, but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.
Lily: Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game we play in the bedroom.