Robin Quote #255
Future Ted: [v.o.] So the next day, Lily took her painting to a coffee house that displayed local artists.
Lily: We've been sitting here for hours and nobody's even glanced at my painting. Come on. Let's start talking it up.
Robin: Wow! I really like that painting! It's neat! The... The colors are neat. The... The shapes are neat. It's really just... neat. [off Ted's look] What?
Ted: Observe. [clears throat] I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork that, combined with the fluid composition, creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance.
Robin: Yes, and you can still enjoy it even if you're not a pretentious douche.
Ted: Can you clarify something for me about your critique? Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?"
Robin: Uh, then again, red cowboy boots.
Ted: I pull these off! [everybody laughs] I pull these off!
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, in the spring of 2008 something kind of strange had been happening to your uncle Barney. He'd be doing great with a woman.
Barney: So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth. I shoot the tank, boo, no more shark. Mr. Holland and I swam back to shore. Hey, let me serve you a drink.
Future Ted: He's only been gone a few moments but when he return...
Barney: So where were we?
Ted from 2030: He'd get slapped! It kept happening... Until finally, Lily was approached by a mysterious woman who wants her stay away from Barney. So when it happened once more...
Barney: Again? Really? Wait...
Future Ted: [v.o.] Barney knew who to look for...
[Barney chases after a blonde woman who was leaving MacLaren's:]
Barney: Hey, excuse me. Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?
Barney: What are you doing on Friday?
Quote from Lily
Marshall: So, uh, I just met with the contractor. and it turns out that fixing the floors of the new apartment is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.
Lily: But we can barely afford that to begin with.
Marshall: I hate to say this, but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.
Lily: Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game we play in the bedroom.
Quote from Glitter
Robin: Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you.
Robin: But if either of you makes even one peep about the show being dirty, I'm turning it off. I'm serious.
[on Space Teens:]
Robin Sparkles: Hey Jessica, how's your beaver?
[in the apartment, Ted and Barney spit take]
Jessica Glitter: Great. How's your beaver?
Robin Sparkles: Busy as ever!
[Ted and Barney stifle laughter]
Robin: Our characters had pet beavers.
Ted: [giggles] Sure.
Robin: The beaver is the official animal of Canada. It's our national mascot.
Barney: It's a noble creature.
Quote from Big Days
Robin: Well, I guess you just got to move on. I mean, it's not like you have a shot with Ready McGee over there, right? Ted?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Then I remembered. Cindy had a roommate. A roommate I only caught a glimpse of... But a roommate who, by every indication, was something very special. Was it possible? Could this be the girl attached to that ankle?
Ted: I got to see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? God, I swear, one in five guys...