Barney Quote #672
Quote from Barney in Rebound Bro
Randy: All right. It hasn't clotted but I think it's pretty much draining backwards now.
Barney: Randy. I've been thinking, this isn't working out.
Randy: Yeah, I figured. I knew I couldn't fly this close to the sun without getting burned. This is the story of my life. I always let people down. You, my dad, the chief.
Barney: The chief?
Randy: Yeah, I was a cop for like three months. But I got kicked off the force because I screwed up so much I was an insurance liability.
Barney: You were a New York City police officer and you didn't tell me?
[later:]
Woman: Wow! Did you ever shoot anybody?
Randy: Only all the time.
Barney: But not himself. And not in the foot.
Randy: Actually...
Barney: Ah, bah, bah, bah, bah. But nothing.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Rebound Bro’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: It's Barney. [answers phone] Dude, seriously you need to stop calling me.
Barney: Ted, I'm sorry, I haven't returned your calls.
Ted: Yeah I never called you, you called me fifteen times and my parents twice.
Barney: I'm sorry, I gotta let you go. It's just too many good wingmen out there. Ted are you crying?
Ted: No, I'm not.
Barney: Sh! Let it out, let it out.
Ted: Goodbye Barney. [hangs up]
Quote from Barney
Randy: Hey Barney, new Sky Mall came in. So word around the blogosphere is that you are looking for a new wingman. I wanna let you know, I'm available. Just the say the word, or don't even say the word. Just do something with you eyebrow. Was that it?
Barney: No offence, Randy, but there is a long list of candidates for this slot. This slot is for Vice President of Awesome. And you are like Assistant Under Secretary of Only O.K.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] Stella and I had been dating for two months. And things were going really well. She had met my friend in past for flying colors. There was just one little problem.
Lily: You guys haven't had sex yet!!?? When Marshall and I were two months, we were doing it 24/7.
Ted: I know, I was in the top bunk. Also sat next to you at football games.