Barney Quote #626

Quote from Barney in The Chain Of Screaming

Marshall: Guys, guys, this is not helping, okay? I can't have some big confrontation with Arthur. I need this job, I.. I need the money.
Ted: Yeah, but how good would it feel to walk in there tomorrow, tell him off and then quit?
Marshall: It's great to fantasize about, but nobody ever actually does it.
Barney: Gary Blauman did it. Guy I used to work with. The guy's a legend now. We were at the morning meeting and old Blauman was getting reamed out but good. Pretty much routine at the morning meeting, but then, on this particular day, something amazing happened.
Bilson: You made yourself look bad, you made this company look bad, and quite frankly, you made our friends, the North Koreans, look bad! And I'll tell you something else, Blauman, if you think for one moment...
Blauman: You know what, Bilson? You can kiss my ass.
Barney: Oh, snap.
Bilson: What?
Blauman: You heard me. I don't need to take your crap anymore. My cousin's website went public today, and I made a pile of money on the IPO, so you know what I think of this whole damn company?
[Blauman stands on the table and unzips his pants]


 ‘The Chain Of Screaming’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: The lesson of Blauman is that when your boss screams at you, you never scream back. That's why there's a little thing in corporate America I like to call the chain of screaming.
Marshall: Chain of screaming?
Barney: Yes. The chain of screaming starts at the top. Arthur's boss's boss screams at Arthur's boss. Arthur's boss screams at Arthur. Arthur screams at you. You go home and scream at Lily. Lily screams at one of the kids in her kindergarten class. Then that kid screams at her dad, Arthur's boss's boss. And the whole thing starts all over again, Thus completing the circle of screaming.
Ted: I thought it was a chain of screaming.
Barney: It's a circle, Ted. I called it a circle.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: They always told me that working at a big law firm was like being at war...
[flashback to Marshall at work, at Nicholson, Hewitt and West:]
Marshall: [v.o.] You get out of law school, it's like getting out of boot camp. That first day at work, you're storming the beaches, full of piss and vinegar...
Man: Dude, we're lawyers now.
Marshall: Totally.
Man: We've got briefcases and everything.
Marshall: Freakin' briefcases.
Man: You have anything in yours?
Marshall: Totally empty. you?
Man: Candy bars.
[Marshall and his colleague high five with their briefcases]

Quote from Barney

Barney: What, that's it? You're upset because a guy talked loudly near you?
Marshall: Barney, I have never been screamed at like that in my life.
Ted: Come on, when's the last time you got screamed at at work?
Barney: I got screamed at three times today. Once in Korean. This is corporate America, Marshall. Screaming is a motivational tool, like Christmas bonuses or sexual harassment. It's just good business.