Ted Quote #356
Quote from Ted in Spoiler Alert
Marshall: You want to shatter this beautiful illusion you've created for yourself? Fine. Here it is. Cathy talks... a lot.
Ted: Oh, come on. That's not true.
Robin: Ted. Really, really think about that dinner we all just had together.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And I did.
[flashback to the restaurant:]
Ted: So, what's everyone getting?
Cathy: Well, I can't decide. Which sounds better, chicken or lasagna? I like chicken. I like lasagna. I like them both. But I really like pork. A lot of people don't eat pork, and maybe it's because of that movie Babe or something. But that was funny. He was a talking pig and he was like "Bah, Ram, Ewe!" What- What if there was a sorority, "Bah, Ram, Ewe?" I'd totally rush it. ... And so I named him Dr. Seuss! Lorax is a funny word.
Robin: Lasagna! Just get the lasagna!
Cathy: Oh, you guys just got a new place. How many bedrooms is it? I would love to have an extra bedroom, because I would put a Stairmaster in there. But you guys should get a convertible sofa. Or a futon. Futons are great. Or what about one of those Murphy beds? Who invented the Murphy bed? Was it a guy named Murphy? Oh, my God. Do you guys remember that show Murphy Brown? That was a funny show. She had a new assistant every episode. ...and it was like half an hour before I realized he wasn't even on the phone anymore! Isn't that hysterical?
Lily: Two! It's two bedrooms!
Cathy: Hey, do you guys like cannolis? Because I know this place and it's in the South Bronx and you wouldn't expect it, but they have the best cannolis in town.
Future Ted: And just like that, the illusion was shattered.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Spoiler Alert’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Lily: This is all Ted's fault. Oh, like he's so perfect, Mr. Corrector.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: Oh, come on. You dated the guy for a year and you never noticed that most of what Ted says is correcting you.
[flashback:]
Robin: Hey, can you hand me a Kleenex?
Ted: Actually, Kleenex is a brand. This is a facial tissue.
[another flashback:]
Robin: Oh, my God, is Frankenstein gonna kill that little girl?
Ted: Uh, Dr. Frankenstein isn't in this scene. That's Frankenstein's monster.
[another flashback:]
Robin: That literally blew my mind.
Ted: Figuratively.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o] Kids, the early bloom of a romance is a wonderful thing. You meet someone, you have a connection, and that person becomes sheer perfection in your eyes. You just can't find anything wrong with them. And you can't wait to tell the world about it.
Barney: She convinced you to go jogging? Wow, you really want to get in this girl's pants.
Ted: I'm telling you, you guys are gonna love her. Lily, she knows all about art. Marshall, she's open to the existence of UFOs. Barney, she's hot. Robin, she's not hotter than you.
Barney: Like her already.
Lily: Great.
Robin: How not hotter?
Quote from Barney
Barney: Oh, hey, can I jump on there? I want to show you something awesome.
Marshall: What? No, no. Bar results. My future.
Barney: Trust me. You need to see this.
Marshall: What is so important that I need to see it right now?
Barney: It's a video of a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: How do I need to see that? Why would I want to see that? In what possible way could subjecting my eyes and my brain to something that disgusting enrich my life?
Barney: It's a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: Get away from my computer.
Barney: Okay, just do a quick Google search for "caca spaniel."