Ted Quote #312
Quote from Ted in Wait For It...
Ted: All right, first of all, this isn't one of those, "I came all the way over here because I want you back" things. There'll be no startling confession of love, no sweet indie rock song that swells up just as we're about to kiss, none of that crap. Got it?
Robin: Okay.
Ted: Good. Now, here's the thing. It sucks that you came back from Argentina with someone as awesome as Gael. And I know I have no right to be upset at you. We're broken up, life goes on, whatever. But you know what? We- We never did this. We- We had this polite breakup with no irrational yelling and that's just wrong. So I'm gonna yell irrationally for a while and you're just gonna have to stand there and deal with it, okay?
Robin: If you feel like you need to do that, then...
Ted: [yelling] I think I do! I really think I do! So now, I'm yelling!
Robin: You shaved.
Ted: I did.
Robin: I liked the beard.
Ted: I liked it too, but it was getting kind of hot. Maybe in the winter, I'll grow it back out! [quietly] Okay, I'm done.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Wait For It...’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.
Lily: How do you know?
Barney: Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle, land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: [answers phone] Go for Barney.
Marshall: Hey, man. It's Marshall. Check your e-mail. Sent you something.
Barney: What is it?
Marshall: Just a new website. Slapcountdown.com.
[Barney goes to the website. The countdown reads 55 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 58 seconds]
Barney: What does this mean? Marshall? Ma...?
[Marshall hangs up. Marshall holds his hand to his face, then practices a slap)
Barney: No. [screams] No!
Quote from Lily
Ted: I just can't believe her. [Ted comes out of the bathroom with his chin shaved] We have this totally amicable split, everything's cool. And she comes back from vacation with that guy? You know what she's doing? She's trying to win the breakup.
Lily: What do you mean "Win the breakup", old timey inventor.
Marshall: What our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur, is trying to say is that in every breakup there are winners and losers.
Lily: It's not a competition. Now, your 80-day balloon race around the world, that was a competition.
Marshall: That's my wife.