Barney Quote #370
Quote from Barney in Moving Day
Barney: By the way, what are you guys doing with Ted's room? 'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it.
Lily: Why would you want to live with us?
Barney: I don't call what you guys do "living." Here's the deal, I need a room closer to the bar. It takes me exactly 23 minutes to get a girl from the bar back to my apartment. A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes.
[flashback to Barney in a cab with a woman:]
Woman: This is going to be so hot. [falls alseep]
Barney: [to cab driver] She's paying.
[flashback to Barney with another woman in a cab:]
Woman #2: I swear, if he doesn't call me back, I'm going to go through with this.
Barney: [to cab driver] Please hurry, sir.
Woman #2: I want to do dirty stuff with you. Stuff I won't let him do.
Barney: Every red light run is an extra $20.
Woman #2: [answers phone] Baby? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was all my fault.
[flashback to Barney with a third woman in a cab:]
Woman #3: I am so drunk. When I'm this drunk, I go crazy!
Barney: I bet you do.
Woman #3: Check this out. [flashes herself to other vehicles] What up, NYPD?
Barney: So close.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Moving Day’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: I don't have any other shoes because you stole them along with everything else I own in the world. Where's the truck, Barney?
Barney: Barney. People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom call me Barney. I think you should call me The Commodore.
Ted: I'm not calling you...
Barney: You're not getting your stuff back.
Ted: Can I please have my stuff back, The Commodore?
Barney: [chuckles] No. Here's the deal, Ted, you're my bro. And you're about to become a henpecked, beaten down, shell of a man. So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros. It's a bro-ing away party. A special bro-casion. A bro-choice rally. Bro-time at the Apollo.
Ted: Oh, bro me.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: ...if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck. Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. Number six, "Feels On Wheels." Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-boni." And, the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."
Quote from Robin
Robin: [on the phone] Hey, sorry about that. Thanks for holding. Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo, that would be great. No, it's a great magazine. Really great. They've printed three of my letters. It's just that my boyfriend is moving in and he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing. A free hand grenade phone? You know what? Let me give you my work address.