Ted Quote #231
Mr. Druthers: Come on, Ted, listen, why don't we get back and finish drawing the plans for a building which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, so you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers.
Ted: No. Look, Hammond, there's no easy way to say this but...
Man: Looking for Hammond Druthers.
Mr. Druthers: Oh, that's me. I'm Hammond Druthers.
Man: These are divorce papers. You've been served.
Ted: Oh, God.
Mr. Druthers: She's really going through with this. So that's it. It's over.
Ted: There is no easy way to say this, but...
Mr. Druthers: She's giving me the remains of Wolfie? My dog is dead? Oh, my God. I can't believe this. She always played too rough with him.
Ted: Believe me, there is no easy way to say this...
Employees: [singing] # Happy birthday to you... #
Ted: You've got to be kidding me!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Columns’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Paint me.
Lily: Okay, I don't get this. You've been making fun of that painting all this time and now you want me to paint you?
Barney: We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. I do not. In my body, where the shame gland should be, there's a second awesome gland. True story.
Lily: Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting.
Barney: [laughs] Yeah.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Oh, my God. This is awesome times awesome. It's awesome squared.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Okay, let's get this over with.
Barney: Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift.
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: I meant me. Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. Goofy and unburdened, with wit. But me, I want something more regal. Something my progeny could look at and say, "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." He was wise... [picks up sword] and strong.
Lily: I don't think your sword will fit.
Barney: I get that a lot.