Barney Quote #245
Quote from Barney in World's Greatest Couple
Barney: Come on, I'll give you a tour. Uh, no flash photography please. Bienvenidos to the bedroom. Dig this: king-sized bed, full-sized blanket, one pillow. Everything about this bed says, "Our work here is done." Next we say bienvenue to the bathroom. What, only one towel? What, no hairdryer? You know where I keep that stuff? Your place. Beat it. And the coup de grace... Yeah, that's right. [Barney demonstrates the toilet seat which automatically puts itself back up] Patent-pending. And wilkommen to the hallway. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn...
Lily: Marshall doesn't have porn.
Barney: Aw, that's sweet. While guys like Ted and Marshall may hide their porn, I had mine professionally lit. Girls see this, they can't get out of here fast enough.
Lily: And if that doesn't drive them away, there's always your life-sized storm-trooper.
Barney: No, that's just awesome. So you see, whenever a girl wakes up here, I never have to tell her to go build her nest somewhere else. My apartment does it for me.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘World's Greatest Couple’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Lily: Welcome to my new home.
Ted: Oh, wow, Lily, this is... Oh, this is all of it.
Lily: Yeah, I know it's small, but it's got character. Thank you. And I am learning Lithuanian from my neighbors. They're great. They're always out there in the hall, you know, cooking and gambling and giving each other haircuts. It's nice.
Ted: Hey, is that a toilet in your kitchen?
Robin: Or a stove in your bathroom?
Lily: Oh, that's not just a stove. That's a stovinkerator: a combination of a stove, oven and sink and refrigerator. Stovinkerator. Isn't that futuristic?
Ted: God, I hope not.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Wait, can I stay here maybe?
Barney: Uh, I'd let you, but I don't have any room.
Lily: You live in a two-bedroom apartment. You have one room just for your suits.
Barney: Hey, I'm at a point in my life where my suits are my family. Look around you, Lily. You are in the heart of bachelor country, and as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you can try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts 12 hours. 14 if you qualify for multiple entry.
Lily: Ew! ... is something some lame, judgmental chick would say, but I say give me multiple high fives.
Barney: Wow, you really are desperate.
Quote from Barney
Ted: Okay, we have to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I've got dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's a little more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude? No way.
Robin: Come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Hmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but... pass.