Ted Quote #150
Ted: So ten months ago, you just up and decided to get divorced without telling me?
Virginia Mosby: No, it wasn't a snap decision.
Alfred Mosby: We'd been separated almost two years.
Ted: How could you not tell me this?!
Virginia Mosby: We meant to, it just never seemed like the right time.
Ted: So last Christmas...?
Alfred Mosby: We talked about telling you kids then, but it didn't seem very Christmasy.
Ted: I got you a tandem bike.
Alfred Mosby: Oh, it didn't go to waste. Your mother and Frank ride it all the time.
Ted: Who the hell is Frank?!
Alfred Mosby: Oh, great guy. I actually set them up. You remember Dr. Muchnik. He did your braces.
Ted: Okay, my head's about to explode, and I don't want to get it all over everyone's waffles, so I am leaving.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Brunch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.openmarriageisnaturallegalizepolygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.
Quote from Barney
Alfred Mosby: Whoa! Bravo, Barney.
Virginia Mosby: That is my all-time favorite sonata. Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.
Quote from Barney
Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!