Ted Quote #148
Robin: I don't care how unpleasant it is, you have to talk to him.
Virginia Mosby: Not now.
Robin: Okay, if you don't, I will.
Virginia Mosby: Robin...! [Virginia lifts her arm and accidentally knocks over a waitress carrying plates]
Alfred Mosby: Oh, gosh, let me help you pick those up, sweetheart.
Ted: Sweetheart? Sweetheart?! The only sweetheart in your life should be the woman you married 30 years ago, not the waitress at the bar last night and not this clumsy floozy! [to the waitress] I'm sorry, you're not a floozy. I'm upset, I don't know what I'm saying. But stay away from my dad.
Virginia Mosby: Ted, what are you talking about?
Ted: Dad? You, uh, want to tell Mom what happened at the bar last night?
Alfred Mosby: Okay. I hooked up with a waitress.
Virginia Mosby: [casually] Oh.
Ted: Oh?
Virginia Mosby: I mean, oh! Oh! Ooh! We're going to have a serious talk about this when we get home, Al. Oh, ooh!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Brunch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.openmarriageisnaturallegalizepolygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.
Quote from Barney
Alfred Mosby: Whoa! Bravo, Barney.
Virginia Mosby: That is my all-time favorite sonata. Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.
Quote from Barney
Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!