Ted Quote #96
Quote from Ted in Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM
Cab driver: Where you going to, buddy?
Ted: Park Slope, 8th and 8th. Okay, here's where I left off with the last guy. See, I have a girlfriend, but I'm going over to this other girl's house...
Victoria: And you're wondering if I'd be upset. Hi, Ted. Remember me, your girlfriend?
[Ted is startled as he imagines Victoria in the driver's seat of the cab]
Ted: Okay, relax, Robin's just a friend.
Victoria: Right. You're going to go make some juice.
Ted: Yes, yes! Juice is perfectly harmless. In fact, it's healthy.
Victoria: Oh, yeah? Then why are you wondering what she looks like naked?
Ted: I am not won... Okay, even if I am wondering that, it's only 'cause you put it in my head.
Victoria: Ah, but I'm just a manifestation of your subconscious, so actually, you put it in your own head.
Ted: Damn it! Nothing's going to happen.
Victoria: Right.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Robin: Okay. Bye. [hangs up] I thought it was mine, so I answered it.
Ted: Was it...?
Robin: It was your girlfriend. You might want to call her back. [tosses Ted his phone; goes to the bedroom]
Future Ted: [v.o.] I called Victoria from the cab and we broke up. Yes... And there you have it, kids. The stupidest thing I've ever done. In one night, I managed to hurt two people I cared about. And none of it would've happened if I just listened to my mom. So I guess if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's this: when it's 2:00 a.m., just go to sleep.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m.
Barney: You know, I have found, in my travels, that all the best things in life happen after 2:00 a.m. When I look back at the best stories of my life: the Liberty Bell incident, the little scrape I got in at the Russian Embassy, the almost four-way.
Marshall: You never had a four-way.
Barney: I said "almost." All those things happened after 2:00 a.m. because after 2:00 a.m. is when things get - audience, say it with me - legendary.
Quote from Robin
Robin: And so the life of a television reporter is very rewarding, and I strongly urge you to consider it as a career. Thank you. Yeah?
Girl: Do you have a fiancé?
Lily: Marshall was here yesterday. They just learned the word "fiancé."
Robin: Oh, no, I don't have a fiancé.
Girl: Then who do you live with?
Robin: Well, actually, I've got five dogs.
Girl: Don't you get lonely?
Robin: No, I've got five dogs.
Girl: My grandma has five cats and she gets lonely.
Robin: Well, yeah, that's cats. I'm not some pathetic cat lady. Not that your grandmother is a...
Robin: Does anyone else have a...? Yes?
Boy: Are you a lesbian?
Robin: No, are you?