‘Purple Giraffe’
Season 1, Episode 2 - Aired September 26, 2005
Ted is determined to meet Robin again casually, so he throws a string of parties hoping she will attend. Meanwhile, Marshall tries desperately to write a paper, but is distracted by all the parties and a particularly amorous Lily.
Quote from Lily
Ted: She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? 'cause it's a game. I wanted to skip to the end and do the "happily ever after" thing but you don't get there unless you play the game.
Marshall: So are you gonna ask her out?
Ted: Yeah. No! I can't ask her out, because if I ask her out I'm asking her out. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out? [silence]
Lily: Did you guys get high?
Quote from Barney
Ted: I got it! I don't ask her out. I invite her to our party next Friday.
Marshall: We're having a party next Friday?
Ted: We are now. Casual.
Barney: Yeah, 'cause nothing says casual like inviting a hundred people over just to "Mac" on one girl. Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
Lily: You waited five minutes to tell me that?
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Alright, so call her up.
Ted: No. Calling's not casual! I just gotta bump into her somewhere. If only I knew her schedule I could arrange a "chance" encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.
Quote from Robin
Robin: [on TV] Thanks Bill, I'm reporting from the Razzle Dazzle Supermarket on 75th in Columbus, where four year old, Leroy Ellensburg, climbed inside a grab a prize machine and has gotten stuck. And all in the pursuit of a stuffed purple giraffe. For Metro News One, I'm Robin Scherbatsky.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: What's so special about the roof?
Lily: Oh, the moon, the stars, the shimmering skyline. You can't not fall in love on that roof.
Marshall: We do it up there sometimes.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: At least it was a great party.
Marshall: I ate like four whole cans of dip!
Ted: You always know what to say old friend.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: What are you doing to me, man? I got a paper to write.
Ted: I know, I'm sorry. It's terrible. I'll buy more dip. [exits]
Marshall: Ted! Ted, wait! Get french onion!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Oh, you were so right about the roof. That girl from last night, took her back to my place then this morning took her outside, spun her around a couple of times and sent her walking, she will never find her way back and there she is. How did she get here? Did you invite her?
Ted: I have no idea who that is.
Barney: She said she works with Carlos, who's Carlos?
Ted: I don't know any Carlos.
Barney: Grr.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Alright, we threw two parties. Everybody had fun. Everybody wanged, everybody chunged. Now the kid has got to get to work. And the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me, "I will not have sex with Marshall".
Lily and Ted: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Quote from Ted
Robin: [on the phone] I totally wanted to come. I got stuck at work again. I feel like I live there. I'm sorry I missed your party again.
Ted: Hey, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita. [To Lily and Marshall] Who am I?