Barney: Now, uh, who's the guy?
Robin: I'm not telling you until you admit that this can happen to anybody.
Barney: I'm not admitting that.
Robin: Fine. Forget it. I'm not telling you.
Barney: Fine. Forgotten.
[cut to Barney, using Ted's power drill, to break into Robin's apartment, where he finds her journal]
[flashback to Robin as a teenager writing in her journal:]
Robin: [writing] You are so beautiful. Why can't you see me? Someday, I'll make you see me, and we'll be together. P.S. I love you. [echoes] P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you.
[present:]
Barney: [inner monologue] This is ridiculous ["re-dick-ulous"]. Who cares who she was obsessed with? What, am I gonna go to Canada and track this guy down?
[cut to an airplane taking off]

Barney: Gordie Bellavoh.
Gordie: Thanks again for the free doughnuts, eh? So, you up here visiting family?
Barney: No. I'm not Canadian. Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side. Shut up. We're not talking "aboat" me... about me. Whoa. How long did you and Robin date?
Gordie: Well, it wasn't really dating. We'd take a sixer of Labatts behind the hydro plant... and she'd let me go under parka, over turtleneck. Summer love.
Barney: Was Robin obsessed with you?
Gordie: No. No. Robin was way more into this guy named...

Barney: Turk Grimsby. I hear Robin was obsessed with you?
Turk: No. We only went out a few times, barely knew each other. All we talked about was her relationship with her mother, the gnawing feelings of inadequacy, all the horrible secrets on that side of the family. But heck, you're her fiancé. You know all that, right?
Barney: Yeah.
Turk: Robin was way more into this other guy. Can't seem to remember his name. Though sometimes a powdered jelly can help get the old noodle going. Ah. His name's...

Barney: Simon Tremblay. I should have known.
Simon: Eh. Thanks for the free doughnuts.
Barney: They're just doughnuts! Okay? They're like two for a loonie... dollar. What's happening?
Simon: Oh! Somebody moosed down all the jellies. Have you been hanging out with Turk Grimsby?
Barney: So how serious were you and Robin?
Simon: Well, serious enough to pop the question.
Barney: Wow. Really?
Simon: Yeah, sure. Got down on one goalie pad. I said, "Robin, could we keep dating, but I get to stick it to other babes?" Turned me down.
Barney: I'm so sorry.
Simon: Oh, that's okay. I really wanted to stick it to Louise Marsh. Still, as the years pass and you take stock of your life, part of me wishes I could've kept sticking it to Robin too.

Barney: Okay, anyway, here's my thing. [Barney does a drum roll on a portable drum] Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my back pocket the answer to the question... "Who was Robin obsessed with?" Hang on tight. [rim shot] It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all!
[All cheer]

Robin: Whoa. What happened to you?
Barney: We watched Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes today.
Robin: Wait, what? You guys get MuchMusic down here?
Barney: And that video led me to...
[flashback to Barney being pummeled by Alan Thicke:]
Barney: I am engaged to Robin Scherbatsky and I know that she wrote "P.S. I Love You" for you. Now- Now, why is she so obsessed with you?
Alan Thicke: What? That song's not about me.
Barney: Then who is it "aboot"? About! Damn it!
Alan Thicke: I don't know. I always thought it was Coulier.
[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Dave Coulier: It wasn't me. Stop asking. Geez, cut it out.
Future Ted: [v.o.] [chuckles] I always liked that joke.

Lily: Alan Thicke kicked your ass.
Barney: He lied, didn't he? It was Alan Thicke!
Robin: Wow. It sounds like you've become a bit obsessed, huh, Barney?
Barney: I am not obsessed. All I did was break into your apartment and read your teenage journals, and fly to Vancouver to interrogate your ex-boyfriends, and fight beloved Canadian actor Alan Thicke... to a draw.
[flashback to Alan Thicke eating a doughnut while pinning Barney down:]
Barney: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Robin: So, ready to admit it?
Barney: Anyone can get obsessed.
Robin: Thank you. And now, I am ready to tell you who "P.S. I Love You" is about.
All: Who?
Robin: P. S... Paul Shaffer.
All: Paul Shaffer?
Robin: I know. So stereotypical. Every young Canadian girl fantasizes about being with Paul Shaffer. At the Grey Cup gig, Paul was sitting in the front row.
Lily: No wonder his stomach was growling.
Robin: I feel bad that I scared Paul. He's amazing. But I have no regrets. I was done being Robin Sparkles. ou're not gonna go get beat up by Paul Shaffer now, are you?
Barney: I can't believe it. I'm a total Dahmer.
Robin: Yeah, but you're my Dahmer, which makes you a Dobler.

Ted: Just like Jeanette.
Marshall: No! Ted, what that woman did to"run into you" was bonkers. That's just not how you start a healthy relationship. Tell him, Lil.
Lily: I can't stand it anymore. I've been living a lie.
Marshall: See?
[flashback to Lily in her college dorm room:]
Lily: [v.o.] I saw you at orientation and I needed an excuse to meet you, so... [rips wires out of her stereo] I didn't know which room you were in, so I had to create a little destiny.
[Lily goes door-to-door looking for Marshall, ignoring eligible men and one woman]
[present:]
Lily: I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.
Marshall: Could not stand the idea of not meeting me. I'm sorry, Ted. You were right. Jeanette's a Dobler. So are you.

Ted: You know, if you hadn't been reading the exact same book as me... We never would've met. I mean, that's destiny. Oh, look. You bought it in the same bookstore I did. On the same day. Within 10 minutes of me buying mine.
Jeanette: Uh, this is embarrassing. I wasn't gonna tell you this... but I followed you to that bookstore. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.
Ted: You followed me to the bookstore from where? H-How long have you been following me?
Jeanette: Uh, this is embarrassing. Uh, remember when you were on the cover of New York Magazine?
Ted: That was, like, a year and a half ago.
Jeanette: Yeah.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Before a man meets the woman he'll marry... he'll make one final, horrible mistake. For me, that was Jeanette.