Barney: Check out Scarlett Johansson at the Oscars. If I could nail any celebrity it would definitely be Scarlett Johansson. Hot, talented, and nobody does that many Woody Allen's movies without serious daddy's issues.

Marshall: If I could nail any celebrities, it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart.
Lily: Aww. For me, it would be Hugh Jackman.

Robin: You know, I don't know, celebrities, they're into some really weird sex stuff. Trust me.
Barney: How would you know that?
Robin: This is embarrassing, but I... I went home with a celebrity one night.
Lily: [gasps] Oh, my God! Seriously?
Robin: Yeah, he wanted to do this really freaky thing with me, so I left. That's it. End of the story.
Lily: No, no, not end of the story I need to know who, when, and in where. Spoil it!
Marshall: Please settle down, Lily, you're swallowing too much air.
Barney: But before you go any further, I'm flattered, but technically, I'm not a celebrity. Plus, for the last time, I put the mask on as a joke.
Robin: Okay, it's not you Barney.

Lily: Okay, who is it? [hiccups]
Marshall: Okay, great. Now you gave Lily the hiccups.
Robin: Okay, I won't tell you anything specific. But all I'll say is that he is Canadian born, but you definitely know this guy. And he got me back to his place by offering to show me a very unique collection.
Marshall: What do you mean collection?
Robin: Well, you know how some people collect like stamps or coins, it's like that. But I'm not telling.
Barney: Well, at least tell us the weird thing he wanted to do.
Robin: Ugh, I don't know what you call it in the States, but we have a name for it in Canada. Look, I've already said too much.

Lily: So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act.
Robin: Yes.
Lily: Tell us. [hiccups]
Robin: OK, I'll tell you. But only if you guess all three parts correctly.
Marshall: Well, that's just impossible.
Robin: Exactly.

Ted: Hey, so I just had the weirdest conversation. This woman at GNB told me that the new bank building was scrapped last month. That's crazy, right? Wait, what's that look
Barney: Should we tell him?
Marshall: I don't wanna tell him.
Barney: I think we should tell him.
Marshall: We're not telling him.
Barney: There was no look.

Ted: Guys, what the hell?
Marshall: Okay, it's time that you know the truth. A few weeks ago, Bilson called us into his office.
[flashback to Barney and Marshall in Bilson's office:]
Bilson: We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters. This recession is killing us. We're cutting anything non-essential. Boy, I have a lot of tough choices to make ta the bi-quarterly retreat in Saint Croix.
Marshall: Man, Ted is gonna be devastated.
Bilson: Not when he hears it coming from his best friend.
Barney: I have to tell him?
Marshall: I have to tell him?

Marshall: You should tell him, you're his best friend.
Barney: Am not, you're his best friend.
Marshall: Am not, you're his best friend. Quiet, here he comes.
Barney: The white dude or the Asian fellow? See I barely know the guy.

Barney: Hey, Ted, what's up?
Marshall: Hey, how're you doing?
Ted: I'm frustrated. Anything innovative I put on my designs Bilson just hacks out with a machete. I hate to answer to a guy like that.
Barney: You should drop the project.
Marshall: You should totally drop the project. It's beneath you.
Barney: Then it's settled. To Ted Mosby's new chapter. May the wind be at your back and may the roads all...

Ted: Are you kidding? They just laid off another architect at my firm. I mean Bilson is a pain, sure. But without this project, I'm probably out of the job.
Barney: Right, um, it's funny that you mentioned the project. Because...
Marshall: You're nailing it. Keep up the good work buddy. Your hair and teeth look fantastic today. You're shining like a diamond!
Ted: Thank you. I needed that. All right, I'm going to head upstairs and keep working. I got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.