Lily: Hey, where are you going?
Barney: Quinn needs to get to work. She's a...
Lily: I know, a stripper, got it.
Barney: Hey, taxi! [whistles] My girlfriend's a stripper!

Ted: What was that all about?
Marshall: Lily had a sex dream last night.
Barney: [returns] Sex dream? Do tell.

Ted: You know who I bet it is? Robin.
Marshall: Already checked. [v.o.] Lily and I paid her a visit at the new World Wide News headquarters.
[flashback to Lily and Marshall with Robin at work in front of a large banner for her show. Marshall is close up to Lily and staring intently:]
Lily: And I'm so excited, because I've been trying months to get this reservation. Can you hold on just one second? What the hell are you doing?!
Marshall: Nothing. Nice photo.
Robin: Oh.
Marshall: Your passport must be enormous.

Security Guard: I.D.?
Robin: Oh. Um, that is me.
Security Guard: Ma'am, with all due respect, you're a wee bit older than that hottie.
Robin: For God sakes. You know, here I am, on national TV every day, and still a guy who spends his whole life sitting next to a giant picture of me has no idea who I am.
Security Guard: This isn't my whole life; I'm in a band. And we're gonna make it.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And, kids, they did make it. But I'll get to that later. ... You know what, I'm probably not going to get to that later. They had one song, it didn't suck, the end.

[flashback to Lily and Marshall meeting Robin at work:]
Robin: Uh, by the way, how is Ted doing?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you remember what happened. I declared my love, she turned me down, we both moved out of the apartment, and now...
Robin: I haven't talked to him since we... stopped talking.
Lily: He's pretty good.
[present:]
Ted: Pretty good?
Marshall: Last night, you ate a box of Froot Loops in your tighty whities.
Ted: No, I demolished a box of Froot Loops, fully nude. Yeah, "pretty good" works.

[title: "The Night We Started a Mariachi Band"]
Ted: Okay, you were right. Memorable night.
Barney: That was nothing compared to mañana, amigo. Because mañana is gonna be... The Night We Ate Everything on the Menu!
[title: The Night We Ate Everything on the Menu]
Ted: A really memorable night. But tomorrow night...
Barney: Is The Night We Brought a Horse into the Bar!
[title: The Night We Brought a Horse into the Bar]
Ted: Okay, but tomorrow...
Barney: Is The Night We Bungee Jump off the Statue of Liberty!
[title: The Night We Bungee Jump off the Statue of Liberty]
Ted: Nope.

Ranjit: Should I take the West Side Highway?
Marshall: Why not, Ranjit? Don't you always just take whatever you want, regardless of anything but your own dirty, sick, twisted appetites?
Ranjit: I'll stay on Broadway.

Sandy Rivers: Robin, I've got something big for you, something huge. And I want you on it.
Robin: Sandy, you were in the harassment video.
Security Guard: You were great in that, by the way.
Sandy Rivers: Thanks, holmes. And I like the way your filthy little mind works, Robin, but this is real. Big story's breaking. Are you afraid of helicopters?
Robin: I love helicopters. What am I covering, a war?
Sandy Rivers: Better!
[on TV:]
Announcer: World Wide News brings you the world. And now Robin Scherbatsky with traffic.

Ted: Damn it! Barney! Give me your phone; I'm calling my super.
Barney: The only person we're calling is everyone we know, because tonight's The Night We Tracked Down Phil Collins, Became Best Friends with Him, and Talked Him into Reuniting with Peter Gabriel, So Then We Got to Sing Backup On The New Genesis Album and It Was Awesome!
[title: The Night We Tracked Down Phil Collins, Became Best Friends with Him, and Talked Him into Reuniting with Peter Gabriel, So Then We Got to Sing Backup On The New Genesis Album and It Was Awesome]
Ted: Fine, I'll use the phone at the bar.

Lily: Marshall, it was a dream.
Marshall: Yeah, well, dreams are just stuff that you subconsciously want to happen. Why do you think I'm constantly dreaming about Bigfoot playing quarterback for the Vikings?
Lily: Because you fall asleep looking at a painting of it.
Marshall: It soothes me.