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Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM

‘Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM’

Season 1, Episode 18 - Aired April 10, 2006

When a lonely Robin invites Ted to her apartment late at night, Ted isn't sure whether to go or follow his mother's advice that nothing good happens after 2 a.m.

Quote from Ted

Robin: Hi.
Ted: Hi. Um, I got some vegetables. I got carrots, I got beets.
Robin: Or we could just drink wine.
Ted: Wine... not? Well, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said.

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Quote from Ted

Ted: So, how's it hanging? [mouths to himself] How it's hanging?

Quote from Robin

Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing at all that monumental happens but by the end of it you have no idea who you are anymore or what the hell you're doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?
Ted: Uh, about once a week.
Robin: I don't know, it was just a, a rough day and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you.

Quote from Ted

Robin: So, um, how was the big phone call with your girlfriend?
Future Ted: [v.o.] When the clock strikes 2:00, just go to sleep.
Ted: We broke up.
Robin: What?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, she finally called. We talked for a while... How hard long distance is... And then she dumped me.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: How much does Korean Elvis rock? I'll answer that. Infinity. He rocks... infinity.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: [answers phone] Hello?
Korean Elvis: Ted, this is your main man, K.E. I want you to shake your tail feathers down here ASAP, you dig?
Marshall: Sorry about that.
Ted: Was that Korean Elvis?
Marshall: I'll explain later.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: [on the phone] Hey, we're headed down to MacLaren's.
Ted: Um... Actually, I'm at Robin's. Yeah, and, um... I might have done something bad. I just lied and told her I broke up with Victoria.
Marshall: Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?

Quote from Ted

[In Robin's bathroom, as Ted washes his face, he looks up and imagines Victoria behind him]
Ted: Stop doing that.
Victoria: Whatcha doin'?
Ted: I'm calling you. We're breaking up. I'm doing this right now, I'm coming out of this bathroom a single man.
Victoria: Okay. Say, Ted, how long do you think that conversation's going to be? Length of an average pee? No. We're gonna be on the phone for at least 20 minutes. Robin's out there. She's gonna think you're in here taking a massive...
Ted: What do you want from me? People break up. It happens.
Victoria: Not like this. Not from the bathroom of the girl that you're about to sleep with.
Ted: It's not ideal.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Meanwhile, back at the bar, Barney was still trying to prove that good things can happen after 2:00 a.m.
Barney: Come on, Lily. How many women can say they've been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?
Marshall: Barney, you tried, I think that's great, but we're going.
Barney: No! No, come on.
Marshall: Yes!
Barney: Dude, we haven't hit legendary yet. We're only at the "le". We still got the "gen." The "da." The "ry."
Lily: Okay, if we're at the "le," then I say we follow it up with a "t's go home."
Marshall: Oh, wow, you just got burned, phonics style.

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