‘Moving Day’
Season 2, Episode 18 - Aired March 19, 2007
After Ted and Robin decide to move in together, Barney thinks they're making a mistake and takes Ted's possessions hostage.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Where's the truck? Where's Barney?
Robin: Wait for it.
Ted: I can't believe this! Everything I own in the world is in there. Except for this box of pot lids. And the sword. I'm going to kill him. I swear to God I'm going to kill him!
Marshall: Right. Maybe I'll just hold on to that. For now.
Quote from Ted
Ted: [on the phone] Barney, I don't know if you got my other 47 messages, but if my stuff isn't here within the hour I'm calling the cops. This is the last time I'm calling you. Because my charger's in the back of the truck.
Quote from Ted
Robin: Don't worry, it's Barney. He'll bring the stuff back.
Ted: No, it's just... I was really looking forward to settling in, you know? Maybe setting up my TV. Watching a movie in bed. [Robin hisses] What?
Robin: Do we really want a TV in the bedroom?
Ted: I thought we did.
Robin: I'm not sure that we do.
Ted: Well, where else would we put my TV?
Robin: We could just put it in our storage unit in the basement.
Ted: But wouldn't we miss my TV?
Robin: Would we?
Ted: Yes, we would. We've had that TV for a long time and we would feel more at home if it were setup in our bedroom.
Robin: We need wine, don't we?
Ted: Yes, we do.
Quote from Robin
Ted: Well, since I only have one box I figure I might as well unpack it.
Robin: Mm, where do you think we should put it?
Ted: Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, I was thinking the cupboard. [off Robin's look] What?
Robin: Uh, the thing is my kitchen is kind of small. And, um, I already have a bunch of pot lids and mine come with pots, so...
Ted: You're saying there's no way to make room for the single box of stuff I try to move into our place?
Robin: Well, why don't you just take it down to the...
Ted: Do not say storage space.
Robin: I was going to say dumpster.
Ted: Damn it, Robin, this is all I have left in the world. Eight pot lids and a sword.
Robin: Yeah, about the sword.
Quote from Barney
Ted: [answers phone] Hello.
Barney: [action voice] Put on the suit, Mr. Mosby.
Ted: Barney, I know it's you. Where's my stuff?
Barney: It's not me. If you want to see your precious possessions again, put on the suit.
Ted: What suit?
Barney: Ding-dong. Oh, what's that? The doorbell. That's the suit I'm talking about.
Ted: I haven't gotten to the door yet.
Barney: [normal voice] Oh, okay, let me know when you get there.
Ted: Okay, I opened it. And there's a suit there.
Barney: [action voice] That's the suit I'm talking about.
Ted: Barney....
Barney: This isn't Barney. But I hear that guy's awesome.
Barney: All right. Listen very carefully. You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges. Number one, put on the suit. Number two, meet me at MacLaren's in an hour.
Ted: How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
Barney: ... I look like Barney.
Quote from Barney
Ted: Well, so what do I have to do?
Barney: No, it's not what you have to do, it's what you want to do, and you want to have a good time before you go take Fun Ted out back and shoot him. So, first thing on the docket, get me that girl's number.
Ted: Absolutely not.
Barney: Mm. That's too bad. Hey, hypothetical question: if I was all your stuff, would I rather be at the bottom of the East River or The Hudson?
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Hey, look, world's strongest man is on.
Lily: Ooh, it's the one where Lou Ferrigno pulls the bus from the Partridge family with his teeth.
Marshall: It's the best one. Hey, Ted, get in... [realizing] We live alone.
Lily: [weakly] Yay.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, I win. You need to give my friend your phone number.
Woman: Wow, I really didn't think Lou Ferrigno could pull that bus. Are you sure this is live? It looks pretty old.
Ted: Yeah, that's 'cause the, uh, TV is old.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: Marshall, I am gonna cook you the best dinner of your life. How would you like a... [opens the refrigerator] one-egg omelet with some ketchup and film? Guess Ted's the one who did the shopping. [opens freezer] Ooh, look, a microwave pizza! Guess the microwave was Ted's, too.
Marshall: Yeah. So were all the towels. Turns out that everything that was useful in this apartment was Ted's. Everything that was a Foghat poster we bought ironically in college was mine.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: I did it, baby! I got beer. I got food. We don't need Ted anymore. I am the provider of this apartment now, and I have provided! "Provode"? Provided. Anyway, I got us everything we need.
Lily: Great. Could you toss me the toilet paper?
Marshall: Be right back, baby. Sit tight.