Barney: Don't you go into the light! Don't you do it!

Ted: Stella, before you say anything... I love you.
Stella: I love you, too. Can we just forget about...
Ted: It's forgotten.
Stella: Is this your chart? Okay. Uh-huh. Everything looks good. I think you can handle it.
Ted: Handle what?
[Stella climbs on top of the bed and starts making out with Ted. Marshall, Lily and Robin watch through the window]
All: Aww!

Marshall: This morning he dumped her and now she's dry-humping him on a hospital bed. Miracle!
Robin: Yeah, you know, I bet if you call up the Vatican, they will tell you that most of their certified miracles involve dry-humping, so...

Stella: Hey, guys.
Lily: Oh, I'm just so glad you and Ted are back together.
Stella: Yeah. Wait, um, what do you mean "back together"?
Lily: Well, you know, since you guys broke up.
Stella: What? Oh, no. It was just a small fight. That wasn't a breakup. [Ted's friends are awkward silent] Was that a breakup? Did he think that was a breakup?
Lily: What?
Stella: Son of a bitch!

[Stella slaps the Jell-O out of Ted's hand]
Stella: That was a breakup. Wasn't it? You broke up with me.
Ted: Yeah.
Stella: I didn't know that that was a breakup.
Ted: Are you kidding? I- I said, "I feel awful. " You said, "We're good. " Then you got up and left.
Stella: Yeah, I said, "We're good, " as in "We're good. " Like when the waiter comes around and asks if you want any more muffins, and you say, "We're good. "
Ted: Exactly, and I took that "We're good" to mean you didn't want any more metaphorical relationship muffins. This is crazy. Forget about all that. That was a whole life-changing car accident ago. I love you. I don't want to break up.
Stella: But you did. You did want to. And if you had those feelings once, then you're going to have those feelings again, and you're going to keep on having them. And I can't count on that car to hit you every time you do.
Ted: What are you saying?
Stella: I'm saying... you wanted your breakup, you got it.
Ted: What?! Stella, wait!
Stella: No, you know what, Ted? We're good.

Ted: [answers phone] Hello?
Nurse: Hi, Ted Mosby? We have you listed as the emergency contact for Barney Stinson.
Ted: What is it?
Future Ted: [v.o.] What it was was this.
[A panting Barney stops running when he arrives across the street from the hospital.]
Barney: I made it. I made it!
[Barney steps out into the street without looking. He is knocked down by a bus.]

Ted: Barney, you, uh... You could've died.
Barney: Ted, I'm sorry I broke the bro code.
Ted: No, I'm- I'm sorry.
Barney: Ted, can we be friends again?
Ted: Barney, come on, we're... We're more than friends. We're brothers.
Barney: You're my brother, Ted.
Ted: You're my brother, Barney.
Barney: Did you hear that, Marshall? We're brothers now.
Ted: Marshall's my brother, too.
Marshall: We're all brothers.
Barney: Yeah, but I'm your best brother, right?
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's how your Uncle Barney and I buried the hatchet. It got pretty mushy and embarrassing after that. Let's skip ahead.

Marshall: Hey, Ted said that right before the accident, his life flashed before his eyes. You know, all the stuff he loves. Did that happen to you?
Lily: Oh, yeah. I know what he saw: boobs.
Marshall: Scotch.
Lily: And money.
Marshall: Suits.
Lily: A suit of money.
Marshall: A suit of boobs. A giant boob wearing a suit of money.
Lily: And the boob is lactating scotch.
Marshall: I guess that's pretty much everything you love, right?
Barney: [looking at Robin] Yeah, pretty much.

Ted: I got you this orange kangaroo.
Stella: Uh... thanks.
Ted: So I've been thinking about what changed from the moment I broke up with you to the moment I knew I wanted you back. And, um, I think I finally figured out what happened.
Stella: Your cab got T-boned by a jackass on a cell phone?
Ted: No. I changed. I'm ready to give you what you need. That's why I spent ten minutes on the damn claw machine trying to get the big, fake diamond ring. But all I could get was this orange kangaroo.
Stella: Diamond ring?
Ted: Will you marry me?