Ted: Why would you do that?
Barney: I did it to prove a point.
Ted: What point?
Barney: Stay with me. It's going to come to me. No. Ah, okay, here's the point. You thought that Mary was a sure thing, right? So what happened? She took you up to a hotel room on the first date. All you have to do is be that confident with every girl you meet and your slump is over.
Ted: So the message is, I should treat every woman like a whore?
Barney: Come on, dude, you should be thanking me.
Ted: She slapped me and stormed off.
Barney: Can you blame her? You called her a hooker.

Ted: I'm not taking a prostitute to Robin's banquet.
Barney: The only people who will know are you, me and Marshall. No one will suspect a thing. They'll just see you with this unbelievably smoking hot girl and... Okay, that's a little bit suspicious. Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight. But if you're not interested, fine, I'm out 500 bucks. Whatever.
Ted: 500 bucks?
Barney: Ted, you're my cabron. You think I'm gonna stick you with some toothless tranny from the Port Authority?