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Hopeless

‘Hopeless’

Season 6, Episode 21 -  Aired April 18, 2011

Barney tries revive his father's wild side by showing him a legendary evening, complete with new personalities for the gang.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Okay, Jerry's gone. Let's break up.
Ted: Okay. I would've stolen you a whole orchestra. There. What's the rush?
Robin: Well, that guy who came over here who thinks we're dating, I kinda have a crush on him. Can you help me clear it up?
Ted: Really? That guy? He was like a four.
Robin: A four? God, you are like the worst judge of guys ever. If he is a four, what are you?
Ted: Hey, I'm not perfect. I'm an eight... and a half.
Robin: You're a doofus and a half.

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Quote from Robin

Ted: Hold on. We were dating then. I specifically remember because we had great sex that ni... Great sex.
[flashback to Robin and Ted in the apartment:]
Ted: Mmm. Let me guess. Someone wants to knock boots. [imitates gun fire] Boots.
Robin: Just take off your damn shirt. Okay. All right. Oh, oh, stop.
Ted: What?
Robin: Stop. Perfect.
Ted: But I can't see, and you can't see me.
Robin: Yeah. Yeah, just like that.
[present:]
Ted: You were picturing your crush!
Robin: Well, somebody had to...

Quote from Barney

Barney: But why do all those things?
Jerry: I figured if I showed you what "never stop partying" really looked like, you'd realize you can't do it forever. Oh, well.
Barney: You lied to me all night for your own selfish reasons? [happily] Daddy!

Quote from Robin

Robin: Okay, jerk. Do you remember how you ended up buying those red cowboy boots?
[flashback to Ted and Robin at the department store:]
Ted: Wow. Wardrobe malfunction at the O.K. Corral. I mean, who in their right mind would ever...
Sales woman: You would look so totally hot in those.
Ted: Do you have these in a size 11?
[present:]
Robin: So get off the field at the Superdome, because you ain't no Saint.

Quote from Barney

Barney: We've gotta get you back home in time for that trip. There's no more trains. There's no cabs.
Jerry: Well, I do have a few driving students in the city.
[cut to Barney, Jerry and an elderly woman driver in a car:]
Barney: Step on it!
Jerry: Do not step on it.
Barney: Jerry, we have got to get you home...
Jerry: 10:00 and 2:00.
Barney: in time for that fishing trip!
Jerry: The laws are there to...
Barney: This is no time for laws!
Jerry: Buckle up, Barney.
Barney: I'm not going to buckle up!
Jerry: I am your father! You will listen to me!

Quote from Marshall

Ted: Hey, how's the open marriage going? Who was the first to get to five numbers?
Lily: I won that race. My prize, sex in the bathroom.
Marshall: And I won that race.

Quote from Barney

Jerry: I did have a good time tonight. And, hey, if you wanna go fishing, we got room in the boat.
Barney: Maybe some other time.
Jerry: Okay. Oh, and, uh... [removes coin from behind Barney's ear] thanks for taking such good care of this. It means a lot to me that you kept it safe all these years.
Barney: [to the elderly driver] I'm going fishing with my dad.

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