Marshall: Come on, Lily. You have to get Scooter off the hook. Now try again.
Lily: Teacup pig, I don't want to be with you. [stares into its eyes] Right now.
Marshall: Man up!
Lily: Teacup pig, I don't want to be with you. Ever!
Marshall: Finish him!
Lily: We will never be together in any sort of sexual way ever again!
Marshall: Nice. Sort of a weird thing to say to a pig.
Lily: It felt really wrong.

Tiffany: Anyway, I just don't think you and I are gonna work. [whispers] Right now.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's when it hit me. I was on the hook. I also realized...
Tiffany: I missed this so much, baby.
Future Ted: Tiffany was on this guy's hook. It was a vicious cycle. Henrietta was on my hook. And years later, I found out this poor bastard was on Henrietta 's hook.
Ted: You know what? We're not gonna work, ever. I'm done. And it's really better for the circulation if you knead the arches with your thumbs. Now I'm done.

Lily: Marshall, I can do this by myself.
Marshall: Okay. Well, then, prove it. And grab me a pudding.
Lily: Listen up, Scooter, there is no way you and I will ever be together. [Scooter stares longingly into Lily's eyes]
Marshall: Right now!
Lily: Marshall!
Marshall: I'm sorry. But he's adorable.
Lily: Listen, I don't want to be with you.
Marshall: Right now. Hang in there, Scoots. I'm not gonna live forever.

Robin: No! What did you do?
Ted: I seriously considered just marrying her out of sheer awkwardness. But I did what I had to do. I did what anyone keeping someone on the hook should do. I broke her heart.
[flashback to Ted in Henrietta's apartment after the accidental proposal:]
Ted: Henrietta, I'm sorry if this is blunt, but I think I owe you this. I don't want to be with you.
Henrietta: Right now?
Ted: Ever.
Henrietta: But we're still getting married, right?

Lily: Um... Who's buying canned chili and not eating it immediately?
Marshall: Amen, sister. [high-fives]