Have you met... Ted? Page 2 of 3
Have you met... is a line the gang use to start conversations with potential mates for their friends. It's most commonly used by wingman Barney to introduce Ted to women.
Quote from Barney in Something Blue
Ted: Wedding's over.
Robin: Yes, it is.
Ted: I guess starting tomorrow, we can tell people.
Barney: Tell people what?
Robin: Hi, Barney.
Barney: Tell people what?
Ted: The food looks delicious, doesn't it?
Barney: Tell people what?
Robin: Nothing.
Barney: Oh, okay. Tell people what?
Ted: Can we talk about this later?
Barney: Absolutely. Tell people what?
Robin: [to a woman] Hi. Have you met Barney?
Barney: Hey. Barney Stinson. Lovely dress. I know, I'm sick of these things, too. It's like the same wedding over and over again. You're totally right. You want to dance? Great, see you out there. Tell people what?
Ted: Look, this is just not something we want to talk about right now, okay, Barney?
Barney: Okay. [Barney leaves]
Ted: Whoo, that was a close one.
Robin: Think he'll actually let it go?
Barney: [over the microphone] Tell people what? Tell people what? Tell people what? Tell people what? Tell people... [A man tells Barney something] There's a black Nissan Stanza in the parking lot with it's lights on. Tell people what? Tell people what?
Quote from James in Single Stamina
James: Hey! Hi, how are ya?
James and Barney: [in unison] Have you met my brother?
Quote from Robin in Purple Giraffe
Robin: You know something, Ted?
Ted: What?
Robin: You are a catch. You're gonna make some girl very happy, and I am going to help you find her.
Ted: [laughs] Well, good luck. I mean maybe New York's just too big a town, you know? There's millions of people in this city. How in all this mess is a guy supposed to find the love of his life? I mean, where do you even begin?
Robin: [taps a woman] Hi, Have you met Ted?
Quote from Barney in No Tomorrow
Barney: Hi. Have you met Ted?
Mary: Hi. I'm Mary.
Ted: Hi. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Stephanie: I haven't met Ted, either. I'm Stephanie.
Ted: Hi.
Barney: Dude, back off. I called dibs on Stephanie.
Ted: Okay. Mary's hot.
Barney: Well, then I want Mary.
Ted: Fine.
Barney: Oh, I see. Reverse psychology. Then I'm sticking with Stephanie, Dr. Freud.
Ted: Okay.
Barney: Which one do you want more?
Ted: Either one.
Barney: I want them both.
Ted: You're an idiot.
Quote from Future Ted in The Fight
Doug: What the hell is this?!
Future Ted: [v.o.] I've told you kids about Doug, right? I haven't? Oh, well... Doug Martin was a bartender at MacLaren's. He was always kind of around.
[montage of previous moments at MacLaren's with Doug in the background:]
Barney: Have... you met Ted?
Ted: What? We're not playing "Have you met Ted?".
[cut]
Barney: [with a pencil up his nose] Am I dead? Am I dead?
[cut]
Barney: Tonight... I pick up a lesbian.
Quote from Barney in The Scorpion and the Toad
Future Ted: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Barney was taking Marshall out to meet women for the first time since he was 17.
Barney: Hi. Have you met Marshall?
Quote from Barney in Mary the Paralegal
Marshall: Robin's bringing a date.
Ted: Oh. Okay. That's not weird. She's bringing a date. I'm glad she's moving on.
Marshall: Dude, it's going to be weird.
Ted: No, it's fine. Look, in spite of whatever happened between us, Robin and I are still friends. I don't think it'll be weird.
Barney: Yeah, it won't be weird.
Ted: Thank you.
Barney: Because you're going to bring your own date.
Woman: Hello, Barney.
Barney: Hi, Mary. Have you met Ted?
Quote from Barney in The Pineapple Incident
Ted: I'm back baby doll!
Barney: Hey, hey, hey, hey, he rallies. And the night begins now. [Ted and Barney high five] All right, game face on. Carl, two more. All right, all right, what do we think of this one?
Ted: I think....
Barney: Eh! Trick question, no thinking. You know what time it is? It's do o'clock. Let's ride.
Ted: Bring it.
Barney: [to a woman at a booth] Have you met Ted?
Quote from The Mother in How Your Mother Met Me
[flashback to September 2005:]
Ted: You're my best friend, Barney.
Barney: Good. As your best friend, I suggest we play a game I call Have You Met Ted?
Kelly: [on the phone] What? Oh, my God, I'm so stupid. Stay there. I'm on my way.
[Kelly runs out of MacLaren's, flags down a cab, arrives at a different MacLaren's pub and enters the crowded bar]
Kelly: I am so, so sorry. I went to the one on the West Side.
The Mother: I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me.
Quote from Robin in Belly Full of Turkey
Ted: This is crazy. When did it get so hard to do charity work?
Robin: I do charity work all the time. Remember when I said I'd find you a girlfriend.
Ted: Ha ha. Delightful. How is that little project coming along anyway?
Robin: I'm working on it. I'm gonna introduce you to that girl you've been staring at.
Ted: What? That's crazy, I haven't been staring at any girl...
Robin: [to a woman] Have you met Ted?
Ted: Hi, I'm the aforementioned Ted, and this is... [sees Robin has left] gone.
