‘Everything Must Go’
Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired May 12, 2008
Barney helps Abby get revenge on Ted by staging a proposal, but Abby doesn't realize it's fake.
Quote from Lily
Dr. Greer: I had to make a trash run. Been a busy day. Lots of neuterings.
Lily: Ooh, we don't need the details.
Dr. Greer: Oh, n-n-no, it's not what you think.
Lily: Oh, thank god.
Dr. Greer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly just dog testicles.
[flashback to Dr. Greer searching the Dumpster:]
Dr. Greer: Anyway, I noticed your painting just sitting right there on top and I thought, "Hey,free painting," so I brought it upstairs and hung it up in Exam Room 3. And then the strangest thing happened...
[in the vet's waiting room:]
Dr. Greer: Hey, Muffin. Whoa, I think he remembers me from the last time he was here. Take Muffin to Exam Room 3. I'll meet you there. I went in, expecting the worst. I'd never seen Muffin that calm, and then a little later the same thing happened again with Tidbit... and King Larry... and again with the Weinstein triplets.
[present:]
Dr Greer: Something about your art speaks to the canine sensibility on a very primal level.
Lily: Really? Dogs like my paintings?
Dr Greer: Yeah. But you know who it bums out? Birds. Yeah. Had a parrot in there today. He took one look at it, pried open his cage, flew right into the ceiling fan.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Anyway, because your first painting worked so well, I convinced Dr. Greer to buy four more.
Lily: Really?
Marshall: Mm-hmm, at $500 a piece.
Lily: That's two grand. That's more than we need for the contractor.
Marshall: Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it.
Lily: In what?
Marshall: In you.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall explained that he was building a fancy new web site specifically to sell Lily's artwork to veterinarians.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: Well, it's not exactly the clientele I had in mind, but... thank you for believing in me.
[As Marshall and Lily kiss, a bird crashes into the apartment window]
Marshall: Man, birds do not get you.
Quote from Barney
Abby: Hi, sweetie.
Barney: Hey, I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it?
Abby: No, I'm in wedding-planning mode. Stressville, population me. Okay, big decision. What do you think the cake should be: Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss?
Barney: Yeah, that was a bit. We were doing a bit.
Abby: So I'm thinking Labor Day. I was going to say Fourth of July, but I don't want to steal any attention away from America.
Barney: Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. I can't marry you.
Abby: What?
Barney: Ted begged me not to. I think he's in love with you.
Abby: Really?
Barney: Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed. You have to go to him. Here's his home address. But you know what? He works late, so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.
Abby: Oh, my God, thank you. But now I feel wrong keeping this.
Barney: Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. That's made of candy. [eats ring] Later.