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Everything Must Go

‘Everything Must Go’

Season 3, Episode 19 -  Aired May 12, 2008

Barney helps Abby get revenge on Ted by staging a proposal, but Abby doesn't realize it's fake.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Ha! 500 bucks! Who's a real painter now, Marshall?
Marshall: Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter.
Lily: Oh, I know, sweetie. And since I'm a professional artist now, I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original, you know, to say thanks for being such a supportive husband. I'm thinking about calling it... "Suck It!"

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Quote from Barney

[Barney and Abby enter MacLaren's wearing matching sky-blue outfits]
Barney: Ted, fancy bumping into you here. Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby?
Ted: Uh, yeah.
Barney: Hi, Abby.
Ted: Hello, Abby. So, uh, s-so you guys are dating now?
Barney: That's right. I am done with this whole being awesome thing. Now I'm all about farmers' markets and day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. Isn't that right, sweetie?
Abby: That's right. And girlfriends are lame. Unless they're me. I miss you, Ted.
Barney: Abby and I are in love. Not hot passionate love. Couple love. You know, movie night with my girlfriend, then waiting for her to go to bed so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor.

Quote from Barney

Abby: We're showing Ted how lame he is.
Barney: You don't have to say it, though.
Ted: Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop.
Barney: Stop what, Ted? Stop being in love? Next he'll ask us to stop breathing.
Abby: We can't stop breathing, Ted. Your hair looks amazing.
Ted: Um, Barney, I, I see what you're doing. Please stop.
Barney: Not before I share with you what being in a relationship leads to, Ted. Abby, Pookie Bear... I am so pathetically desperate for you that... Aw, heck, I'll just say it. Would you marry me?
Abby: Wait, really?
Barney: I would never joke about true love.
Abby: Yes, I'll marry you. [everybody applauds]
Barney: Okay. Thank you, thank you.

Quote from Barney

Abby: I have to call my mom.
Barney: That's you.
Ted: Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding.
Barney: Uh, yes, she does.
Abby: [on the phone] It finally happened, Mama. I just wish Daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle.
Barney: Totally committed to the bit.

Quote from Lily

Lily: [on the phone] Yes, Lily Aldrin. I sold you the painting earlier today.
Lawrence: Oh, honey, hello.
Lily: You sound happy.
Lawrence: Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now.
Lily: Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance to view some of my other paintings.
Lawrence: Oh, honey. Oh, sweetie. Oh, I guess I should have told you. We just bought that for the frame.
Lily: What?
Lawrence: Yeah, it's an original Anton Kreutzer, a very rare frame from the turn of the century.
Lily: So... You didn't like my painting?
Lawrence: Oh, honey. Oh, sweetie. No, not at all. But you know, good for you.
Lily: Okay. Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... can I at least get it back?
Lawrence: Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore.
Lily: Where is it? Oh, I see. [to Marshall] He threw out my painting.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Champagne for everyone on me, the happiest guy in the world. [to the bartender] Ginger ale. It's a bit.

Quote from Lily

Lily: This is great. My dream of becoming an artist is dead, and now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear piece by piece. There goes my favorite dress. This dress meant a lot to me.
Robin: Really?
Lily: Yeah. It was spring of 2004 and I had been having a hard few months.
[flashback:]
Man: Da-amn.
[back:]
Lily: I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress.
Robin: A two-syllable "damn." That's the dream.
Lily: Yeah. Now she belongs to [email protected]
Robin: It's still in the family.

Quote from Robin

Marshall: Lily, you're not going to believe this. Something amazing happened.
Lily: What?
Marshall: I went to the G-CWOK's apartment.
Lily: Really? Why?
Marshall: Because I felt guilty. This auction was my idea and now you've had to sit around all day while a bunch of vultures ruthlessly pick apart the carcass of your wardrobe.
[Lily looks at Robin]
Robin: It's still in the family.

Quote from Ted

Marshall: And more importantly, I honestly love that painting and I couldn't stand to think of it in a trashcan someplace.
Lily: Well, what happened?
[flashback:]
Lawrence: Well, hello.
Marshall: Hi, um, Lawrence. I-I'm here about the painting my wife Lily sold you. The one in the nice frame.
Lawrence: Talk about a nice frame. My, my, you are a big one, aren't you? And you're married to that little bit of a thing. How does that work? I'd like to find out.
[back:]
Lily: Yeah, we get it. Gay guys like you.
Marshall: No, Lily, they love me. But that's not the important part.
Ted: Here's the important part.
[flashback:]
Ted: Since you're clearly a man of impeccable taste and style, I came down here to ask you. What do you think of the boots?
Lawrence: Walter. Boots.
Walter: Pulling... Them.... Off.
Ted: I'll be in the cab.
[back:]
Ted: G-CWOK-approved.

Quote from Lily

Lily: The painting!
Marshall: Right, so, um, they told me they threw it in the building's Dumpster.
[flashback to Marshall searching in the Dumpster:]
Marshall: It wasn't in there, but the super told me that he'd seen one Dr. Greer, a veterinarian who works in the building, take the painting out of the trash.
[back:]
Lily: Dr. Greer? Who's Dr. Greer and why did he take my painting?
Marshall: You're about to find out.

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