‘Do I Know You?’
Season 4, Episode 1 - Aired September 22, 2008
As Ted and Stella wonder whether they know enough about each other now they're engaged, Ted introduces her to his favorite film series, Star Wars. Meanwhile, Barney tells Lily about his feelings for Robin.
Quote from Barney
Lily: You love her? Barney, how can you be in love, and still be sleeping with anything that moves?
Barney: I'm sorry, I don't follow you. That's like saying, "How can an ant carry 20 times its body weight, but root beer floats are still delicious?" Are the two even related?
Quote from Ted
Stella: I know dudes think it's girly for a guy to cook, but us ladies, we find it mighty sexy.
Ted: Really? You know... My grandma taught me how.
Stella: Oh, yeah, she did.
Ted: Yeah. I had a lot of time after school to watch her cook because I wasn't good at sports.
Stella: I'm on fire right now. Delicious. What's in this pesto?
Ted: Oh, you know, the usual: basil, garlic, olive oil, but can you guess my secret ingredient?
Stella: [grasping her throat] Peanuts.
Ted: Yes. How did you know that?
[Stella passes out and falls off her chair.]
Quote from Ted
Ted: Okay, let me think, what else?
Stella: You know what, sweetie? I woke up so early and I had a really long day at work. And there was that whole thing where you tried to kill me. Can we please just go to sleep?
Ted: No, I clearly need to know more about you. Let's do firsts. First kiss?
Stella: Dale Harris, second grade. You're talking like peck on the cheek or a full-on passionate making out?
Ted. Passionate making out.
Stella: Okay, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade.
Ted: First time you had sex.
Stella: Dale Harris, second...
Ted: Stop it.
Stella: Billy Devito, sophomore year of college.
Ted: Prude. Molly McKenzie, junior year of high school.
Stella: Slut.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Robin just needs to see this new see of you.
Barney: So just call her up?
Lily: Just call her up.
Barney: [on the phone, Barney emits a high-pitched babble and hangs up] She wasn't there. I left a voice mail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male.
Quote from Barney
Barney: [phone rings] Ah, ah, it's her, it's Robin. What do I do? No-no-no-no, aah! [answers phone] Robin, great to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Robin: You called, said [high-pitched babble] and hung up. What do you want?
Barney: [to Lily] Help me!
Lily: Just ask her something.
Barney: [on the phone] How are you feeling today?
Robin: Fine.
Lily: Something personal.
Barney: [on the phone] At what age did you first get your period?
Robin: Did you just ask me about about my period?
Barney: No, I did not.
Robin: Look, Barney, I'm at work right now.
Lily: Just ask her out.
Barney: Robin, I was wondering if... Nothing. Gotta go. Bye. [hangs up]
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ha ha! That was just a practical joke. I'm not really in love with Robin. You should've seen the look on your face. There's cameras right there and there and there. Ah! What a legendary prank that we're never going to speak of again.
[Barney leaves the room. Lily looks and notices there is a camera]
Lily: Gross.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: I told you you didn't know this girl well enough. What if... you show it to her, she doesn't like it?
Ted: Dude, it's just a movie.
Marshall: Star Wars is your all-time favorite movie, and whether or not Stella likes it is actually important. It's like, it's a test of how compatible you guys are.
Ted: Marshall, it's just a movie. It's just a movie!
[121 awesome minutes later:]
Ted: If Stella doesn't like this movie, I can't marry her.
Marshall: You can't.
Ted: You want to watch it again?
Marshall: I do.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Wait. Where are the boys? I thought this was a group thing.
Lily: Yeah, I lied. They're not coming and I'm about to leave.
Barney: Why?
Lily: Because... they're not in love with Robin, and neither am I. I mean, she's great and sweet. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't noticed her body, but this is off topic. Good luck.
Barney: Wait, wait, I can't do this. She'll never take me seriously. She thinks I'm some womanizing idiot.
Lily: Hey, we both know you're more than that. Show Robin the Barney I met the other day.
Barney: You mean the insecure, touchy-feely she-male who sounded alarmingly close to Ted?
Lily: Well, hey, Ted hit that for over a year.
Barney: Wish me luck.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: I just thought it'd be fun to watch a movie tonight, and since you've never seen Star Wars, I figured why not? No big deal. It's pretty good.
Stella: Sounds like a plan. [movie starts] I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?
Ted: The movie's already started, so...
Stella: Yeah, it's just some words flying through space. I'm not going to read that anyway.
Ted: [high-pitched] Oh, my God.
[Marshall pops up from behind the couch]
Marshall: Off to a bad start.
Ted: What are you doing down there?
Marshall: I'm making sure my best friend is marrying the right woman. That's what I'm doing.
Ted: What are you doing, hiding behind the couch? You need to get a job.
Marshall: I really do, don't I?
Quote from Ted
[As Stella eats popcorn, Ted is watching her]
Stella: What?
Ted: Nothing.
Stella: You were staring at me.
Ted: You look really beautiful tonight.
Stella: You don't look so bad yourself, mister. She kisses him on the neck
Ted: Great scene, great scene. Star Wars fun fact number seven, George Lucas based the film's structure on Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. He also owes a debt to Joseph Campbell's work with comparative mythology.
Stella: Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood over here. What's going on?