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Do I Know You?

‘Do I Know You?’

Season 4, Episode 1 -  Aired September 22, 2008

As Ted and Stella wonder whether they know enough about each other now they're engaged, Ted introduces her to his favorite film series, Star Wars. Meanwhile, Barney tells Lily about his feelings for Robin.

Quote from Barney

Barney: So, Robin, tell me about your day, and not just what happened, how you felt about what happened.
Robin: What?
Barney: I'm not looking to problem-solve, I'm just looking to listen.
Robin: Why are you acting like this?
Barney: Like what?
Robin: You're being super nice. It's freaking me out. Be gross. Be inappropriate. Be Barney.
Barney: I'm being Barney, and I think tonight's going to be de... wait for it... lightful. Delightful.

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Quote from Ted

Stella: I loved it.
Ted: Yes! I am marrying a woman who is not only hot but loves Star Wars. That's the dream. [high-fives air]
Stella: What was that?
Ted: I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old Me through the space-time continuum. We did it. We did it, you masturbating little bastard. Champagne for everybody.

Quote from Barney

Barney: And that was it.
Lily: I'm so sorry, Barney. You can't give up. You know, it may take some time, but once Robin sees the new you...
April: Barney, um, when my family gets to Yankee Stadium, are the tickets under your name or mine?
Barney: My name, and tell your nephews to bring their mitts. They're going to be in foul ball country. [off Lily's expression] Come on. Well, the Robin stuff was completely true.
Lily: Damn it, Barney.

Quote from Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, there is something I wish my dad told me. The longest pause you will ever experience in your life is the one that follows asking the question...
[Ted in an arcade:]
Ted: Will you marry me?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Your brain goes into overdrive, imaging every possible response.
Stella: No.
Stella: Oh, God, no.
Stella: [laughing hysterically] You want me to marry... No, I can't.
Stella: Oh, I'm sorry, Ted. I can't. Mark Johnson, the quarterback from your high school football team, already asked me.
Mark Johnson: What's up, Turd?
Ted: It's Ted!
Future Ted: [v.o.] But if you're lucky, she may answer with the single greatest word in the English language.
Stella: Yes.

Quote from Barney

Robin: Okay, I officially hate my job. I'm not a reporter, I'm just someone who shows up at night and scares people. I'm the bogeyman with a teleprompter.
Barney: "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." That's hilarious! Great joke, Robin, great joke.
Lily: Barney, no offense to Robin, but that wasn't that funny.
Barney: Are you kidding? That was a great joke. It's smart, funny, beautiful, the whole package. It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want. In a joke. [laughs] "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." Classic.

Quote from Barney

Lily: Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and begged me to come over at 7:22 in the morning?
Barney: I could tell you knew something was up with me, and you're right. But I can't tell you what it is. I should tell you, but I can't! I have to. I never will! I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you?
Lily: Barney, just say it.
Barney: I think I'm in love with Robin.

Quote from Ted

Marshall: Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas for Stella's wedding shower. Does she like to cook?
Ted: Actually, I don't know.
Marshall: What's her favorite color?
Ted: Don't know that either.
Marshall: Well, does she have any hobbies?
Ted: Yes. She's exactly the kind of person who would have hobbies. And interests, too. I am one lucky son of a bitch.

Quote from Ted

Marshall: Dude, you don't know anything about the woman you're marrying.
Ted: What? You're crazy! I know plenty.
Marshall: What color are her eyes?
Ted: The color of the ocean after a storm.
Marshall: Which is?
Ted: Beautiful.

Quote from Barney

Lily: I don't believe it. I thought you called me over here to uncuff you from your sex swing again, but you're in love? That is so sweet!
Barney: It's not "sweet." It's like a disease. I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings. I caught feelings bad. I used protection and everything.
Lily: Barney, you don't "catch" feelings, you just have them. And they're good.
Barney: They're terrible! I can't eat, I can't sleep. She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin. I, I hear a song; it reminds me of Robin.
Woman: Morning.
Barney: I sleep with that chick, I'm thinking about Robin.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Okay, so I don't know every single detail about Stella. What's really about? Do you not like her or something?
Marshall: No, Ted, I like Stella a lot. She's a Mets fan...
Ted: Really?
Marshall: It's just that everything with you has moved so fast. You've only known each other a few months. Don't you think maybe you should slow things down a little bit? Get to know each other better?
Ted: I'll have a whole life time to get to know her better. Right now, I know the one thing that I have to: that I love her.

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