Barney: Ted's right, we should go. Hey, on the way out of the city, do you mind if we stop at my place so I can get something?
[later, in Barney's apartment:]
Ted: Okay, what did you have to get?
Barney: My drink on. We're not going anywhere.
Ted: What? No! We don't have time for this! We gotta get going!
Barney: Ted, I'm older than you.
Ted: Yeah.
Barney: And taller.
Ted: Just older.
Barney: And when you reach my age, and height, you'll see that things like this hurricane are no big deal.

Ted: They're going to close the bridges. You guys, we got to get out of here.
Robin: [high-pitched voice] I'm afraid I'm with blondie on this one. This storm is nothing. I'm from Vancouver. You know what we call this in the Couv? Barbecue weather.

Lily: Yeah, I'm with these guys. Drinking beer in front of Barney's giant TV beats sitting in the car listening to Memoires of a Geisha.
Ted: Come on, we're at the best part.

[flashback to Lily and Marshall's apartment:]
Lily: Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.
Marshall: Well, life is ridiculous, Lily! People get run over by buses and hit in the nuts by skateboards, bitten by babies. Nobody wakes up and says, "Today I'm gonna star in a YouTube video."
Lily: You've said that at least a dozen times.
Marshall: Lily, for the next two weeks you must be by my side protecting me.
Lily: Why, what's gonna happen?
[present:]
Marshall: Answer: a hurricane.

Barney: Please, can I take it off?
Marshall: You... may... knot. With a "K." A little tie pun.

Barney: This is far from over. You have a price, Eriksen, and I will find it. When the end of day is nigh, I'll have taken off this tie. I'm going to like the way I look, I guarantee it.

[flashback to the gang in Barney's apartment:]
Robin: Hey, Nerdlinger, what's with the safety boner? I mean, come on. The disaster kit, the car, the ladies' rain boots-
Ted: Uh, they're men's. Pink is just easier to spot from the rescue chopper. Look, forgive me for caring about you guys, but you're my best friends in the world and I just want to make sure you're okay.
Barney: Ah. Ted, you are a giant whining bummer.

Barney: Please let me take it off!
Lily: No.
Barney: $5,000?
Lily: No.
Kevin: Is he serious?
Barney: $10,000?
Lily: No.
Kevin: Dudes, take the money.
Barney: $20,000?
Marshall: No.
Kevin: Yes.
Barney: I'll let you slap me in the face as hard as you can.
Marshall: You have my attention.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you remember Marshall and Barney's slap bet. A few years earlier, Barney lost a bet to Marshall. His penalty was five slaps delivered anyplace, anytime. So far, Marshall had slapped Barney four times. Which meant he only had one slap left.
Barney: What do you say, Marshall? Are you going to seize this slap-ortunity or let it slap through your fingers?
Lily: Don't let him tempt you, Marshall.
Marshall: I don't know, Lily. I mean we have a baby on the way. An extra slap could really come in handy.

Marshall: No! No! This is crazy. You having to wear that tie for another ten months is all the satisfaction I need. Plus, I still have one slap left, and that feels good.
Barney: But if you didn't have that slap left. If say, I were to get you to slap me tonight, I suppose that would change everything.
Marshall: I suppose it would.
Barney: Le jeu commence.
Marshall: Je m'appelle Marshall.