Marshall: Why can't we borrow your air mattress?
Ted: Because when you animals borrow things, you never return them.
Lily: That's ridiculous.
Ted: No, my Cleveland, Ohio, Chamber of Commerce mini-cooler is ridiculous. Ridiculous at keeping stuff cold while also promoting Ohio's second-largest rubber producer. Watch your back, Akron.
Lily: I totally gave that back.
Ted: And what about that "Vote For Ted" hoodie from when I ran for treasurer in high school? Mrs. Gooding said my concession speech was, "full of grace."
Marshall: I don't recall borrowing that.