Quote from Barney in The Three Days Rule
Barney: "I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend." Marshall: Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me? Barney: Whoa, whoa. Slow your roll. You? He's clearly talking about me. Marshall: Dude, it's me. I'm his best friend. Barney: Okay, one: That has never been proven. Two: If anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me. I mean, look at me. Now look at you. A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess.