Lily: Barney, Marshall didn't quit his last soul-sucking corporate job just to go work at a bank. He's gonna be an environmental lawyer.
Future Ted: [v.o.] That was the plan, anyway. Over the next few weeks, Marshall went on a lot of interviews.
Marshall: [to the mirror] You are confident, you are energetic, you are focused!
Future Ted: A lot of interviews.
Marshall: [to the mirror] You are flexible on salary, you're willing to compromise, you're not gonna cry this time.
Future Ted: Too many interviews.
Marshall: [to the mirror] You are sad, you are beaten down, you will get through this, come home, get in your big underpants and take a nap.