Marshall: All right, Ted, let's go.
Ted: No. No. I finally found the one, Marshall. Her name is Bacon. You know, this would go great on one of my mom's LT sandwiches.
Marshall: Okay, buddy, you gotta take it easy.
Ted: Never! I've got a lifetime without bacon to make up for. I will keep eating and eating and eating... Oh, God, help me, I'm going down.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's the first and last time I ever ate bacon.