Ted: Oh, my God, what happened?
Jeanette: Oh, I trashed your apartment. See, I got bored, so I started going through all your e-mails.
Ted: Sure.
Jeanette: And I found one from a woman with the subject line, "big penis orgasms," so naturally, I smashed your plates, knifed your mattress, peed in your drawers, the whole nine, but then, while I was upper-decking your toilet, I actually read the e-mail. Turns out it was spam. Classic Jeanette, huh?
Ted: Oh, my God. You are certifiably insane... about me. Come here, you knucklehead.
Jeanette: Ted, Ted, I'm breaking up with you. You're just so intense, and it's all moving way too fast. Here's your key back.
Ted: I never gave you a key.
Jeanette: And here's your grandmother's ring.
Ted: She was buried wearing this.