Barney: Look, you guys wouldn't understand, but when you have a rap sheet as long as mine, the last place you want to spend a day is in court.
Lily: [scoffs] Rap sheet?
Barney: That's right. When I was a teenager, Lily, I was a total badass.
Lily: Pfft. You want to talk about teenage badasses? I was like John Gotti in a training bra. [Ted and Robin laugh] I'm serious. In high school, before I started dating Scooter, even he was afraid of me.