Ted: Ah, don't worry, Lil. Some of us know what a woman actually needs at a time like this. A kick-ass labor announcement e-mail.
[online video:]
Ted: A man, a woman, and their best friend, embark on an incredible journey. Lily's cervix is dilating, and we want you all to be part of its grand opening.
Lily: You are not sending that to anyone, ever.