Ted: Wait, wait, wait! Hold it! Brainstorm. Brainstorm. Nobody quits their job. We get a nanny.
Barney: Dibs on the nanny.
Ted: No. No banging the nanny.
Barney: Ted, please do not dig in on this whole no-banging-the-nanny policy.
Ted: Okay, fine. We'll get two nannies. One for banging, one for childcare.
Barney: Slash banging. Dibs on both nannies! Just think of it, Ted, you and me, living together, with our kid, my two hot nannies, our pet cobra...
Ted: What?
Barney: A kid needs a pet cobra, Ted. Don't be a pill about this. And we'll have amazing weeklong parties, and there'll be swords and ninja stars lying around.
Future Ted: [v.o.] That's when I realized: adopting a baby with a friend? Crazy. Adopting a baby with Barney?
Freaking nuts.