Ted: Look, I can handle you trying to prevent me from fulfilling a lifelong dream. That's just being in a relationship. But now you turn my best friend against me?
Zoey: Marshall made his own choice. Why aren't you mad at him?
Ted: Because he's going through a lot right now. He's looking for something to believe in, and you took advantage of that. You're just like those Internet swindlers who tricked him into paying 300 bucks for a lock of Sasquatch fur.
Zoey: You cannot compare the Arcadian to a Ziploc bag full of Turkish armpit hair.