Barney: Okay, my dad's almost here. I need everything to be as awesome as possible tonight.
Lily: That's why you brought these guys!
Barney: No. That's why I brought these guys. I've made some minor improvements to your identities. Uh, you'll find them on these cards.
Marshall: Improvements? Bro, we are already the four jiggidy-jammiest dudes and dudettes this side of... Okay, let's see the cards.