Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, when your best friend loses someone, you drop everything and rush to his side. Only to find yourself standing there with no idea what to do or say.
Ted: This is the toughest time in Marshall's life and I feel absolutely useless. What can we do to help?
Lily: Don't look at me. This morning Marshall said, "I have to pee". And I, "Don't worry, baby, I'll do it for you". Halfway through the pee, I'm, like, "This doesn't even make sense!"
Robin: Well, uh, I've been to a couple funerals, so I know my role: I'm Vice Girl. Whatever Marshall needs to get through this day, I got it right here. [opens purse]
Ted: Whoa! Cigarettes, alcohol... Are these firecrackers? My God, Robin, you somehow crammed Tijuana into a purse.
Robin: Be cool, nerds!